December 23rd, 2025
“Some people come into your life as blessings, some come into your life as lessons.”
Mother Theresa (Saint; August 26th, 1910 ~ September 5th, 1997)
Chapter 3: Acknowledging Your Sacredness
Showing Up And Being Present
“…the first lesson: Maintaining our sacredness. In essence, the act of showing up and being present is a manifestation of feeling worthy enough to honor the sacred moment, and to show up and be in joy where you are at. It seems like such a simple thing to do. But what does showing up and being present really mean? …It means, that in order to be able to maintain our sacredness, we must first acknowledge and accept ourselves by showing up and being present for day to day things including the lessons and blessings that life presents. The problem is that we may try to show up and enjoy life, but society also complicates things by reinforcing the opposite. For example, by promoting instant gratification, hyper-dependence on technology, or praising multi-tasking as a virtue. At the same time, some of us may not realize that we are stuck in a pattern (lesson) of attempting to ignore the wounds by keeping busy, which is another way to avoid being present.”
“This is all too painfully true for me. I strived for mastery at multi-tasking so I could remain busy and not have time to look or actually BE in my own life. Simple surviving or getting by in existence mode and I was not even clear that I didn’t know the difference. I was so busy doing that I completely missed the beingness of living. I lived in a state of numbness about by self-created circumstances, I was hiding from myself…hiding from my sacred self.”
“What we also don’t realize, is that one of the residual symptoms of unresolved pain (i.e. not being fully welcomed, acknowledged or accepted; being rejected or abused) manifests in the inability to be present. Whether it be in our bodies, in our relationships, or to be fully present in other meaningful aspects of our lives or with simple things like enjoying a cup of coffee. Some of us get stuck in the pain and trauma of the past and live life reacting to situations based on our wounded selves – as if it is normal to move through life busily and detached.”
“My ancestors would call this place, Susto, or being stuck in a trauma-based state. This state of disconnection makes it difficult for many of us to truly enjoy life or stay focused in our present relationships. It promotes a way of life that is based on unconsciously avoiding feeling; therefore, not truly being able to enjoy the life we have. As time goes on with each passing day, just like a drug, it takes more and more stimulation, excitement, and material goods to sedate the anxiety of this disconnection. These patterns of behavior can even be passed on from generation to generation becoming what I call relational tribal patterns.
“Dividing attention is mentally draining and depleting, and the quality with which the distinct actions are done is ultimately sacrificed. The end result is getting further and further estranged from the joy or the essence of whatever we’re doing.
Doing Things Mañana (Tomorrow)
“When we are always thinking about something else, the next place we need to be, or what’s coming tomorrow, it takes energy away from what is presently being done. By continuing to do things tis way, we end up with a less-than satisfactory experience. As our minds get trained to not fully enjoy the present, where we are and what we are doing, we end up always wanting more, or being discontent with what we have. This may lead to a perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction in our lives.”
“In the midst of turmoil and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.”
Deepak Chopra (Indian-American author; October 22nd, 1946)
“What are you reacting to? Ask Yourself that question every moment of everyday when your peace is disturbed.”
Kenneth Wapnick (Teacher; February 22nd, 1942 ~ December 27th, 2013)
Medicating Our Disconnection
“…the body, heart, mind, and spirit are magnificent teachers. Sometimes, a person needs to feel down in order to slow down and allow oneself to reflect, learn a lesson, and rebalance.”
“…the first person we need to learn to have a positive relationship with is ourself. Yes, the first step to acknowledging our sacredness and being present is being able to acknowledge, accept, and be present with ourselves. We begin this by acknowledging and accepting who we are, right here and now.”
“The you that is present today. Not the person that you used to be or want to be, but the one that you are right now with both the blessings and the challenges. Only then can you begin having a sacred relationship with yourself; not who people have said you are, or their expectation of whom hey want you to be, but loving and being present with you true sacred self as you are today. Accepting who you are now is the first step. This doesn’t mean that there are not things that you could do better or change, but you must first accept the truth of who you are right now.”
Connecting With Your Present Sacredness
“Another part of rediscovering our sacredness is undoing messages or patterns that stifle our authentic selves. Growing up, many of us have been told how we should or shouldn’t be. We were told not to do this or we can’t be like that. …In addition, many people of color or oppressed populations have been made to feel ashamed of who they are because of their race, color of their skin, gender identity, or patterns of behavior that didn’t fit the norm. This negative reinforcement creates fear of being one’s true self.”
“I was assimilated and not exposed to my indigenous culture. My dad was still living with the fear tat had been passed down from generation to generation to deny our ‘Indianess”. My father also wielded internalized discrimination based on Blood Quantum-Based Colorism (BQBC). Discrimination within the same culture based on blood quantum is also know as internalized discrimination as it occurs within an ethnic or cultural group. His pointedness on this subject was likely based on generations of fear and discrimination. I believe he was trying to protect me, but in fact is harmed me. It was a genocide to my sacred beingness as a native woman.”
“Inevitably, these messages begin to move us, through fear, away from who we really are as sacred people. The result is major confusion in the person’s sense of self, and a disconnection from their sacred being. Where there is no acknowledgement of one’s sense of sacredness, there is little room for feelings of spontaneity, joy, and being present in one’s life. Without this acknowledgement, our sacredness gets lost or frozen (Susto).”
“Additionally, if they have grown up in a home where they have been abused physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually, it is difficult to want, or feel safe enough, to be present in their body, mind and emotions. …What one’s spirit hears an interprets from all of these actions is, ‘I’m not valued, seen or heard at all, so there must be something wrong with me.’ This can lead to more intrusive thoughts or feelings that maybe they are a mistake, not supposed to be here, unwanted, or that the world would be better off without them. …When a person gets used to those messages, they may unconsciously seek out people who reinforce the same negative, critical feelings. …When people get to that vulnerable place, they often end up not knowing who they truly are anymore. They end up living based on their wounded selves rather than their sacred selves. They may even feel like they are outside of their bodies, not knowing how they should be, who they should be, or if they should be, at all.”
“This brings up several painful memories for me. Parents do the best they can with what they have learned and usually filtered through their own wounded stories. My parents were largely emotionally unavailable to me. Especially when my brother began having challenges in junior high school. My parents were devastated by his challenges and devoted all their time and energy to trying to help him. Nevertheless, it didn’t change the fact that I was not getting the love I needed. I have learned that to create relatedness and connection with me I require demi- sapio- interactions and love. I usually got the intellectual stimulation from my parents as they both were/are brilliant. However, they were not available to me on an emotional level…mostly unavailable for these type of conversations and inquiries. I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted and needed as I was living in my story of already not being enough or worthy. I know myself better now with the love I have with my husband Neil. One memory that comes and goes, is around a moment in college when my trust was broken by someone I thought had my best interests. I was put into a situation where I have come to learn via piecing together flashback memories that I was the victim of sexual assault. I have blocked out most of the particulars of the memory and have insight into part of the beginning of the circumstance and several internalized reactions from the post event experience. I am sure, typical of a victim, I was angry, fearful, ashamed and sacred. This of all the wounding events in my life clarified for me that I was damaged goods and not enough. I remember freaking out and wondering who in the world could I ask for help? If I shared my story I would be most certainly shunned and made wrong. So, with my mind racing, I chose to stay silent and stay. My adult life reflects this choice to stay. My divorce was my own saving of myself. I would no longer accept being treated poorly…I would no longer stay. I told no one for almost 35 years. Then as I was recently leaning into my authentic self and able to connect with my vulnerability, I shared with Neil my experience. I felt a weight lift from my spirit as the ‘secret’ had wings and no longer was weighing me down. I am grateful to my husband who listened, comforted me and continued without faltering to love me even when I shared my brokenness. I am so very thankful for his love as it has healed me in so many ways.“
“Sometimes unforeseen opportunities emerge from the remnants of life’s challenges. Sometimes it is possible to transform tough times into great growth and success.”
Kay Douglas (Author; UNKNOWN)
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 25-40.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 