“O’ GREAT SPIRIT…help me always to speak the truth quietly, to listen with an open mind when others speak and to remember the peace that may be found in silence.”
Cherokee Prayer
Chapter 4: Wake Up And Say, “Good Morning/” To Yourself
“The teaching of In Tloque Nahuaque, or being connected to one’s sacredness begins simply with you choosing to create a sacred space and time for yourself.
“In reality, the energetic, affirmative vibration of what you put out and how you live will manifest and grow. So, it is important, every morning to intentionally wake up and say, ‘Good morning,’ to your sacred self.”
“That’s why Grandfather Sun comes up every morning – to remind us that we have that light within us, that every day the light is there. We just have to show up like Grandfather Sun does every day – without the masks, without the shame, without excuses, without sedating, and welcome our self to a new day of learning, growing, healing and living.”
“I love that this morning’s sunrise does not define itself by last night’s sunset.”
Dr. Steve Maraboli(Behavioral Scientist, Motivational Speaker, Author, and Leadership Coach; April 18th, 1975)
” We have to be present with ourselves and acknowledge that wherever we are in our lives today, is where we are supposed to be, sacred as we are.”
“‘No hay mal que por bien no venga.’ (Even when something seemingly bad happens, goodness can come from it.)”
Mexican Proverb
“In fact, we find that many wonderful healers, teachers, and therapists have received their medicine through their own experience with their darkness. In essence, by going through some very horrible experiences, coming to terms with them, and finding the lessons, they now have medicine to help others. Although originating in the darkness, the medicine becomes light, part of their whole, true, sacred purpose.”
“Many ancient healers and teachers teach the importance of beginning with a prayer or meditation. This is called centering. The blessings that are given to us through our breath, the wind spirit, our essence of being, through our sense of consciousness, connects us to our sacred selves. This is turn opens a channel for grace and healing. As we begin to incorporate this life view through practice, we may also begin to recollect other times of grace experienced in our lives.”
“Meditation is not meant to help us avoid problems or run away from difficulties. It is meant to allow positive healing to take place. To meditate is to learn how to stop – to stop being carried away by our regrets about the past, our anger or despair in the present, or our worries about the future.”
Thich Nhat Hanh(Vietnamese Monk and Peace Activist; October 11th, 1926 ~ January 22nd, 2022)
Making A Commitment To Your Sacredness
“I would recommend that you create a special space, alter, or spot where you go every day to ground yourself. On this alter, you can place special objects, sacred elements, herbs and or pictures of ancestors and loved ones. As you continue to pray, your alter will gain energy and spirit. In many traditions, people incorporate the use of herbs (sage, copal, tobacco, and/or incense) and sounds (flute, drums, nature sounds) to further engage their senses, connect with their genetic sound vibrations of ancestors, and bring themselves into focus with their present state of consciousness.”
“Choose to spend a few minutes each day, twice a day if possible, feeling, breathing, getting connected to the Creator, acknowledging your sacredness and giving thanks for who you are. Choose to devote just 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before you go to sleep, to this journey of honoring and healing yourself. …Just try it for 28 days (1 moon cycle) to begin with.”
“Funny how I must have intuitively known to create a place for reflection as I created this space in our small hobbit house. I had filled it with important items that feed my soul.”
Morning Ritual
“Let’s begin the morning ritual by connecting with the earth around you, by honoring and feeling the ground and connecting your energy to the earth. Connect to the sounds in your present environment; listen, feel, sense the sacred moment.”
“Stop in the quiet of the moment, close your eyes and take a minute to open yourself to healing and blessings.”
“Then connect with the sacredness of the moment by taking a slow deep breath in through your nose all the way to the pit of your stomach and then slowly exhaling out through your mouth. Take 3 more breaths in and out in the same way as you honor the moment.”
“Now say, ‘I am sacred, I am a blessing.’“
“Inhale, then exhale. Now say it again, ‘I am sacred, I am a blessing.’ Hear it, Inhale, then exhale.”
“Now imagine that your ancestors, your grandmothers, are saying it to you. Say it again, ‘I am sacred, I am a blessing.’ Hear, feel, and take in their message. Do this 4 times, each time inhaling and exhaling slowly.”
“Now sit with this thought and feeling for a minute. And if you need to repeat the process, you can do it again – each time sitting with it for a while.”
“Attempt to carry this sacredness throughout the day. Show up and be present in your own life, for your own well-being.”
“Show up and be present in the lives of your relationships.”
Evening Ritual
“Begin by connecting with the earth around you, by honoring and feeling the ground and connecting your energy to where you are. Connect to the sounds in your present environment. Listen, feel, sense the sacred moment.”
“Then close your eyes and connect with the sacredness of the moment by taking a deep breath in through your nose, and slowly out through your mouth.”
“Stop in the quiet of the moment, and take a minute to open yourself to healing and blessings.”
“Take a deep breath in, and then exhale slowly. Connect with your breath and your body again. Inhale, then exhale.”
“Hear yourself say it, feel it and embrace it. Inhale, then exhale.”
“Now give thanks for whomever and wherever you are right now, without criticism and without judgement (criticism and judgement take you out of your scaredness).”
“Now say, ‘I want to thank you, Creator, for who I am and the lessons in my life.’ Say it 4 times, inhaling and exhaling in between each.”
“Give thanks, recognizing that wherever you are right now, is where you are supposed to be.”
“Recall all the things you feel grateful for today.”
“Be with that sense of your sacredness.”
“Now say, ‘I put all of my burdens and worries in your hands, as I honor myself by allowing my body to rest.’ Inhale and release. Say this 4 times.”
“Attempt to care this sacredness with you, as you allow yourself to rest through the night.”
“Try committing to do this practice for one moon cycle (around 28 days). Just 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening. You will see how it begins a process of rediscovering your sacredness.”
“I am committed to giving myself this time in the morning and night to help heal and rediscover my sacredness for the next moon cycle.”
“Nothing is more powerful than a surrendered life in the hands of God.”
Rick Warren(American Author; January 28th, 1954)
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 41-53.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
“Some people come into your life as blessings, some come into your life as lessons.”
Mother Theresa(Saint; August 26th, 1910 ~ September 5th, 1997)
Chapter 3: Acknowledging Your Sacredness
Showing Up And Being Present
“…the first lesson: Maintaining our sacredness. In essence, the act of showing up and being present is a manifestation of feeling worthy enough to honor the sacred moment, and to show up and be in joy where you are at. It seems like such a simple thing to do. But what does showing up and being present really mean? …It means, that in order to be able to maintain our sacredness, we must first acknowledge and accept ourselves by showing up and being present for day to day things including the lessons and blessings that life presents. The problem is that we may try to show up and enjoy life, but society also complicates things by reinforcing the opposite. For example, by promoting instant gratification, hyper-dependence on technology, or praising multi-tasking as a virtue. At the same time, some of us may not realize that we are stuck in a pattern (lesson) of attempting to ignore the wounds by keeping busy, which is another way to avoid being present.”
“This is all too painfully true for me. I strived for mastery at multi-tasking so I could remain busy and not have time to look or actually BE in my own life. Simple surviving or getting by in existence mode and I was not even clear that I didn’t know the difference. I was so busy doing that I completely missed the beingness of living. I lived in a state of numbness about by self-created circumstances, I was hiding from myself…hiding from my sacred self.”
“What we also don’t realize, is that one of the residual symptoms of unresolved pain (i.e. not being fully welcomed, acknowledged or accepted; being rejected or abused) manifests in the inability to be present. Whether it be in our bodies, in our relationships, or to be fully present in other meaningful aspects of our lives or with simple things like enjoying a cup of coffee. Some of us get stuck in the pain and trauma of the past and live life reacting to situations based on our wounded selves – as if it is normal to move through life busily and detached.”
“My ancestors would call this place, Susto, or being stuck in a trauma-based state. This state of disconnection makes it difficult for many of us to truly enjoy life or stay focused in our present relationships. It promotes a way of life that is based on unconsciously avoiding feeling; therefore, not truly being able to enjoy the life we have. As time goes on with each passing day, just like a drug, it takes more and more stimulation, excitement, and material goods to sedate the anxiety of this disconnection. These patterns of behavior can even be passed on from generation to generation becoming what I call relational tribal patterns.
“Dividing attention is mentally draining and depleting, and the quality with which the distinct actions are done is ultimately sacrificed. The end result is getting further and further estranged from the joy or the essence of whatever we’re doing.
Doing Things Mañana(Tomorrow)
“When we are always thinking about something else, the next place we need to be, or what’s coming tomorrow, it takes energy away from what is presently being done. By continuing to do things tis way, we end up with a less-than satisfactory experience. As our minds get trained to not fully enjoy the present, where we are and what we are doing, we end up always wanting more, or being discontent with what we have. This may lead to a perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction in our lives.”
“In the midst of turmoil and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.”
Deepak Chopra(Indian-American Author; October 22nd, 1946)
“What are you reacting to? Ask Yourself that question every moment of everyday when your peace is disturbed.”
Kenneth Wapnick(Teacher; February 22nd, 1942 ~ December 27th, 2013)
Medicating Our Disconnection
“…the body, heart, mind, and spirit are magnificent teachers. Sometimes, a person needs to feel down in order to slow down and allow oneself to reflect, learn a lesson, and rebalance.”
“…the first person we need to learn to have a positive relationship with is ourself. Yes, the first step to acknowledging our sacredness and being present is being able to acknowledge, accept, and be present with ourselves. We begin this by acknowledging and accepting who we are, right here and now.”
“The you that is present today. Not the person that you used to be or want to be, but the one that you are right now with both the blessings and the challenges. Only then can you begin having a sacred relationship with yourself; not who people have said you are, or their expectation of whom hey want you to be, but loving and being present with you true sacred self as you are today. Accepting who you are now is the first step. This doesn’t mean that there are not things that you could do better or change, but you must first accept the truth of who you are right now.”
Connecting With Your Present Sacredness
“Another part of rediscovering our sacredness is undoing messages or patterns that stifle our authentic selves. Growing up, many of us have been told how we should or shouldn’t be. We were told not to do this or we can’t be like that. …In addition, many people of color or oppressed populations have been made to feel ashamed of who they are because of their race, color of their skin, gender identity, or patterns of behavior that didn’t fit the norm. This negative reinforcement creates fear of being one’s true self.”
“I was assimilated and not exposed to my indigenous culture. My dad was still living with the fear tat had been passed down from generation to generation to deny our ‘Indianess”. My father also wielded internalized discrimination based on Blood Quantum-Based Colorism (BQBC). Discrimination within the same culture based on blood quantum is also know as internalized discrimination as it occurs within an ethnic or cultural group. His pointedness on this subject was likely based on generations of fear and discrimination. I believe he was trying to protect me, but in fact is harmed me. It was a genocide to my sacred beingness as a native woman.”
“Inevitably, these messages begin to move us, through fear, away from who we really are as sacred people. The result is major confusion in the person’s sense of self, and a disconnection from their sacred being. Where there is no acknowledgement of one’s sense of sacredness, there is little room for feelings of spontaneity, joy, and being present in one’s life. Without this acknowledgement, our sacredness gets lost or frozen (Susto).”
“Additionally, if they have grown up in a home where they have been abused physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually, it is difficult to want, or feel safe enough, to be present in their body, mind and emotions. …What one’s spirit hears an interprets from all of these actions is, ‘I’m not valued, seen or heard at all, so there must be something wrong with me.’ This can lead to more intrusive thoughts or feelings that maybe they are a mistake, not supposed to be here, unwanted, or that the world would be better off without them. …When a person gets used to those messages, they may unconsciously seek out people who reinforce the same negative, critical feelings. …When people get to that vulnerable place, they often end up not knowing who they truly are anymore. They end up living based on their wounded selves rather than their sacred selves. They may even feel like they are outside of their bodies, not knowing how they should be, who they should be, or if they should be, at all.”
“This brings up several painful memories for me. Parents do the best they can with what they have learned and usually filtered through their own wounded stories. My parents were largely emotionally unavailable to me. Especially when my brother began having challenges in junior high school. My parents were devastated by his challenges and devoted all their time and energy to trying to help him. Nevertheless, it didn’t change the fact that I was not getting the love I needed. I have learned that to create relatedness and connection with me I require demi- sapio- interactions and love. I usually got the intellectual stimulation from my parents as they both were/are brilliant. However, they were not available to me on an emotional level…mostly unavailable for these type of conversations and inquiries. I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted and needed as I was living in my story of already not being enough or worthy. I know myself better now with the love I have with my husband Neil. One memory that comes and goes, is around a moment in college when my trust was broken by someone I thought had my best interests. I was put into a situation where I have come to learn via piecing together flashback memories that I was the victim of sexual assault. I have blocked out most of the particulars of the memory and have insight into part of the beginning of the circumstance and several internalized reactions from the post event experience. I am sure, typical of a victim, I was angry, fearful, ashamed and sacred. This of all the wounding events in my life clarified for me that I was damaged goods and not enough. I remember freaking out and wondering who in the world could I ask for help? If I shared my story I would be most certainly shunned and made wrong. So, with my mind racing, I chose to stay silent and stay. My adult life reflects this choice to stay. My divorce was my own saving of myself. I would no longer accept being treated poorly…I would no longer stay. I told no one for almost 35 years. Then as I was recently leaning into my authentic self and able to connect with my vulnerability, I shared with Neil my experience. I felt a weight lift from my spirit as the ‘secret’ had wings and no longer was weighing me down. I am grateful to my husband who listened, comforted me and continued without faltering to love me even when I shared my brokenness. I am so very thankful for his love as it has healed me in so many ways.“
“Sometimes unforeseen opportunities emerge from the remnants of life’s challenges. Sometimes it is possible to transform tough times into great growth and success.”
Kay Douglas(Author; UNKNOWN)
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 25-40.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
“Movement towards your sacredness is the medicine that changes a person’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.”
Jerry Trello(American Author; UNKNOWN)
Chapter 2: Beginning The Journey
“…even in difficult times, when there seems to be no hope for revitalization, a way reveals itself. …The questions become: ‘How do we see challenges? Are we prepared to recognize these challenges as an essential part of our journey? Or do we feel burdened by the struggles, feeling victimized and stuck in the challenges? Are such questions freezing life in a place where we are merely attempting to cope and survive?”
Sacred Purpose
“In the world today, we often see people struggling, unhappy, depressed, alienated, frustrated, or appearing lost and in a day-to-day battle to survive. As a result, we have seen an increase in a wide variety of symptoms of imbalance which include: sleep disorders, relationship difficulties, family disconnection, back and neck pain, headaches, weight issues, gastrointestinal issues, diabetes, fibromyalgia, chronic illness, dysfunctional and antisocial behaviors manifesting in violence, criminal activity, substance abuse, nihilism, and oppressed motivation, in an attempt to survive day to day. In addition, for many, poverty, racism, sexism, misogyny, discrimination, inequality, and injustice has created or at least contributed to these issues and certainly inhibit personal development, making it difficult to improve our circumstances. On a personal, familial, and communal level, many of these issues are merely symptoms of not being in balance, feeling devalued, unaccepted, or not worthy; in essence, being disconnected from our true sacredness and sacred purpose. …The deeper question for some is, ‘How do I find balance and meaning in spite of my issues?'”
“In the indigenous language of my ancestors, the state of being connected to one’s sacred self and sacred purpose is called In Tloque Nahuaque, or the interconnection to all that is near and far that is sacred, In other words, being one with God. Part of this search for interconnected sacredness is the ultimate hope that the cycles of trauma, sometimes several generations deep, will be healed. The pain of the negative forces of addiction, shame and fear will be lessened so that the next generation will carry more blessings and sacred teachings, and less burdens of self-destruction and disconnection.”
” I believe this to be a primary reason I am drawn to gardening. ‘Because when life challenges you and you distrust the world, nature is always there.’ When gardening I was connecting to the sacredness and constancy of nature as I could always count on it. This sacred connection felt vital during my most darkest on moments throughout my life. I remember my mom and dad sent me the most wonderful birthday gift in 2016. It was a gift card to purchase some David Austin rose plants. This so honored my soul and I was thrilled to pick out the roses that would bloom one day if I committed to nurturing them. When my divorce was final, I was sad that I had to leave my roses behind. However, I had enjoyed them for several years and marveled in their blooms. This became my sanctuary and solo time to connect we to nature and my sacredness. I no longer remember the names of the varieties I chose. I selected two of each of the below roses pictured below. They were fabulous and came to me at a time in my life when I needed them most.”
“…sacredness includes all our relations, including our connection to the plants and animals, water and air, sun and moon, and all things in the universe, especially children. In fact, it is the belief of indigenous people that children come into this world from the Creator and Ancestors as sacred beings, with their purpose intact. They come into this world for a divine reason that will add and contribute to the world in a positive way.”
“This speaks to me in a powerful way as a mother. I remember when my son was born, and my father-in-law came to me in an anxious way shaming me and trying to coerce me into baptizing my children into his faith, Catholicism. Note, I had always been spiritual, but had never prescribed to a religion or faith. He ranted that there was urgency to baptize my son so he could be cleaned of sin. Shocked I earnestly replied, that my son was days old and perfect and that he had not even been alive long enough to supposedly sin. He was most certainly not happy with me and attempted to coerce my son’s father into overturning my decision. I stood my ground and refused to prescribe to his ideas and told him to never broach the subject again. My children both were perfect, whole and sacred in my experience of them as newborns and they still are even if they have lost their connection to their own sacredness.”
“It doesn’t matter how the child arrived here, whether in a relationship where the parents planned for the birth, of if the child came into the world in difficult circumstances where the parents were not ready to receive, care for, or even love the child. According to ancient teachings, all children, regardless of the circumstances of their birth, are sacred and have a scared purpose, and all people should be acknowledged and embraced that way.”
“During the blessing ceremony (for twin infant girls), I shared that the importance of this tradition was to offer unconditional acknowledgement and acceptance for these two little girls – welcoming them into the world just the way they are, with their inherent sacredness and purpose. The true meaning of the gathering was to welcome these children and for all present to make a commitment to support these little girls in remembering their sacredness and cultivating their sacred purpose throughout their lives. While these babies were born sacred, it was incumbent upon their parents and circle of relations to remind them of their sacredness, help them manifest it, and live accordingly; because life can at times be cruel and often reinforces the opposite message, especially for children of certain populations.”
“I have never heard any stories about my birth, how my mother’s labor went beyond the typical rolling of eyes and how painful it was. This would have been vital information for me as I became a mother and faced my own labor and deliveries. I didn’t hear the stories about my celebration or ceremony welcoming me into the world. I assume my parents had a baby shower of sorts, and I never heard the story passed and shared with me to demonstrate how wanted, loved and sacred I was. My assimilation separated me from my indigenous culture and left me without ways of expressing my own sacredness. The only real memory I have is my parents taking me back to Oklahoma to meet my dad’s indigenous grandmother. I do remember her laying hands on me and speaking to me in a language I did not understand. Even though I could not discern the words, the impact moved my soul. Years later, my dad had shared that when we went back to introduce me to my great grandmother, that she had, as my elder, shared I was a seer. I had never understood what that meant. Sure, I was a bit clairvoyant. Sure, I often felt people’s energy vibrations and instinctively and intuitively knew who was a good and honest person to trust. Sure, I learned later in my life that I also have synesthesia, although I thought everyone saw and felt the world like I did. Come to find out, it is not common and the general population (2-4%). Synesthesia involve atypical sensory processing and altered brain connectivity, suggesting shared neurological underpinnings, like increased connections between brain regions. A neurological trait where stimulating one sense automatically triggers an experience in another sense, like seeing colors when hearing music (chromesthesia), tasting words, or feeling touch from seeing others touched (mirror-touch). It’s an involuntary, consistent blending of senses, not a disorder, with common types including grapheme-color (letters/numbers as colors) and day-color (days linked to colors). My experience has fallen in the realm of seeing and feeling colors with emotions and music when interacting with both people and animals. I have only recently shared this with my husband Neil as I was really under the assumption everybody was seeing what I was seeing.”
“But many of us may not have come into the world acknowledged as a blessing, or welcomed in such a way, or even given the message that we were wanted. For this reason, all indigenous cultures across the world have a ceremony or tradition for welcoming and acknowledging others, recognizing that this is the first teachings in life. The communal act of acknowledging and accepting the new life as part of their relations, making it very clear that s child is wanted, and a valued part of the community, is seen as fundamental and essential to a child’s well-being. Although the practice or tradition of acknowledgment and welcoming may seem like common sense, we recognize that many of these traditional ways have been invalidated or lost, due to a variety of reasons. In addition, sometimes our own parents have been shamed and ridiculed for attempting to practice these traditions so have abandoned them along the way. In addition, other members of our families may have unresolved wounds which make it difficult enough to survive, let alone extend themselves in love and acknowledgement, even to their own children.”
“My father and his parents suffered harshly by their own self-imposed assimilation. Denying and forgetting their culture beyond hushed whispers. I struggled all through my childhood to glean anything I could from my indigenous roots. However, the assimilation had taken hold generations before. Those who have seen the movie, Killers of The Flower Moon (2023) will witness portions of my ancestors own survival assimilation. This movie focuses on the true story of the 1920s systematic murders of wealthy Osage people in Oklahoma for their oil rights, a dark chapter often overlooked in history. I have my own tale passed down through generations in this similar vein. My great grandparents actually experienced this same circumstance in 1920s Oklahoma as Cherokee/Choctaw indigenous folk. The stories passed down to validate why our family was assimilated make me heartbroken for my lost culture. Apparently, my great grandmother, my elder, who had told me I was a spiritual gift, was a very beautiful woman with striking blue eyes. When the hoards arrived at her doorstep assuming they would take the land from an ‘Indian”‘, my great grandmother appeared at the doorway dressed in typical women’s clothing for the times with her hair put up and flashed her baby blues. She denied being Cherokee and that the land would stay in our family. From that point forward, our family was entrusted with keeping the ‘secret’ and to assimilated, respectively. It pains me to know that this one act erased my connection and the connection for future generations our birthright to our culture. I am doing the work now to reclaim my cultural identity for myself and the generations after me.”
“…various cultures would collectively take on the responsibility of facilitating welcoming as the root of positive identity and belonging. In my own experience and in reference to this welcoming tradition, I remember when I was a little boy, when someone in our family had a baby we would always go visit the baby and take some food (Food for our culture was an offering of gratitude, and making a commitment to assist in nourishing the child.). In preparation four our first visit, we were told that upon meeting the baby, we must touch the baby and say something beautiful about the child. I didn’t understand why we needed to touch the child and was given an explanation that if you didn’t, the baby might get sick (Mal de ojo) (In traditional Mexican culture it is believed that if you only admire a baby by looking at them and don’t touch them (connection) then the baby may get sick.). Later in studying the basis of the tradition, I discovered that the true purpose of touching the baby was to welcome the child and to acknowledge the connection we had to the child. The tradition of touching or saying something positive acknowledged the energy. Words, looks, or anything else directed at the child impressed the feeling of a blessing. Conversely, it also brings to light the tremendous effect that a harmful or negative act, look or feeling can have on someone’s life, especially as a child.”
“This plays into the idea of intent vs. impact. My parents describing my brother and my baby pictures was to share with family about how they experienced both my brother and I as infants. The impact had a tremendous negative impact on me as a child since I did not have a firm understanding of language and just made up a story that I pretended was real when it was not. Children are trying to make sense of the world at a hind brain survival level and I just didn’t have enough tools to navigate this impact.”
“We see manifestations of this when someone is treated in a negative way, and then processes this as feeling unwanted, or perceives that he does not meet the expectations of his family, community, or society. The experience can definitely impact a child, or adult, in a painful way throughout life. …The feeling early on of being unworthy, unloved, or not meeting the expectations among basic circles of relations, can affect a person’s self-worth, self-image, and long-term sense of sacredness and sacred purpose. With this in mind, it is no wonder why it is sometimes difficult for many of us to have good relations, or to be able to trust and connect with others in an intimate way. …It is important to remember that the sacredness and the sacred purpose that I write of was present when your life began and still lives deep within your spirit.”
“This is true for me as my wounded story created a context I lived into and affected all my relationships. I know better now through patience, counseling and the love of my husband. Not until I experienced love for the first time was I able to see myself newly. Regrettably, I was not able to accept or truly give my authentic love within the context I had created by my wounded story. Fifty years into my life I have been working on being honest with myself, my family and my community so I can leave the story behind and heal myself into rediscovering my own sacredness. I welcome everyone to join me.”
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 16-24.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
“Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. ‘Be still,’ they say. ‘Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.”
Linda Hogan(American TV Personality; August 24th, 1959)
Chapter 1: The Circle of Life
“The learning begins with the blessing of one’s birth, but may believe it truly started 7 generations before. But in the circle of life that begins with the birth of a child, when two people have come together – sometimes planned, Sometime not – male and female energies meet and they are blessed with a sacred moment in which the Creator, ancestors, and all the spirits say that a new life will enter this world; and a miracle happens.”
“And when that miracle of a child is born, the circle of life and life’s lessons continue – for the child, for the parents, for the ancestors and for all their relations. This path we walk is all about life’s circles; the sacred circle of life and the spiritual energy that comes from the Creator, handed down through the ancestors, all our relations, and life’s experiences. At the same time, each of us has our own journey, lessons and challenges to embrace, giving us teachings to pass on to our own children and the subsequent generations that follow. Thus the circle continues.”
“The circle has healing power. In the circle, we are all equal. When in the circle, no one is in front of you. No one is behind you. No one above you. No one is below you. The sacred circle is designed to create unity. The hoop of life is also a circle. On this hoop, there is a place for every species, every race, every tree and every plant. It is this completeness of life that must be respected in order to bring about health on this planet.”
Chief David Bald Eagle(Oglala Lakota; April 19th, 1919 ~ July 22nd, 2019 )
“As the remaining elder of my indigenous ancestors, I have felt the draw and pull to pass along my ancestor’s ceremony and celebration of each relations sacredness. I am on a quest to find my own indigenous roots. I feel blessed that this spring I will be able to attend the National Indian Child Welfare Association (NICWA) conference in Oklahoma City, OK. It will afford me a chance to rent a car and visit the neighboring townships of my grandfather and great grandfather in Eagle Town and Sulphur Oklahoma. To connect with the earth of my ancestors feels like an urgent draw for my own spirit.“
“We also come to understand that life is about duality. As there is no night without day, or day without night. And each of us live, at times, in the light and other times in the darkness. But every day we wake up in the morning and the Creator blesses us with Grandfather Sun to remind us that enlightenment is within us and is available to us every day.”
“Each day we get a new opportunity to learn, to shed, and to give blessings. …darkness is not necessarily negative or bad but rather, it represents the reflection…, or opposite end of the light. …the reality is there are certain lessons we can only learn in the dark. …and if we are willing to face the dark, other magical teachings and experiences are then revealed. …Out of that fear of darkness comes the cycles of pain, shame, abuse, addiction, and fear, which are the cycles of imbalance and disconnectedness that stagnate many of us and sometimes hold us frozen. And these cycles can pull us away from our true selves, from our sacred relationships and push us to treat others and ourselves in hurtful. harsh, criticizing, and painful ways. It is in the shadow energy of these cycles that sometimes harmful words and thoughts come out of people’s mouths and minds, our own and others’, pushing us to judge and criticize. And in doing so, this contributes to the disconnection, or fear of never being able to live at peace again. When one feels scared like this, they no longer feel sacred. …And when that happens, a fear-based cycle of life takes on an energy that is larger than life itself, which begins to engulf one’s total spirit. …Those patterns then become integrated into one’s heart and mind leaving them no longer knowing who they really are or who they are meant to be.”
“I recognize that a large portion of my adult life was spent not knowing myself or a connection to my sacredness. I was in constant motion, and not in actual movement in my own growth. I was afraid to admit to myself that I was wandering through my life in a numbed state vs. living and thriving. I thought following the social paths set forth by society, family and peers was what I should do. How wrong I was. How misguided. Because I was living inauthentically and merely mirroring what I saw others were up to, I was not actually living or transforming. It takes you as long as it does to cook and I obviously took longer to cook. I had always been a late bloomer or sorts and even in my own personal growth this mirrored my physical path. Funny to think I spent all that time in the not knowing of myself for so long.”
“The seed of a tree that goes way back and connects all of us to a genetic memory of wholeness that calls to us throughout our lives, especially in times of darkness and struggle. Despite this, we have all, at some point, found ourselves in that place of darkness– a state of imbalance that leaves us wondering how to get back to that place of health, harmony and fulfillment. …In that stats of prolonged imbalance, one may begin to believe that this sense if disorientation, distortion, and darkness is normal. …Because when we get to that state of being we tend to forget what health, wholeness and sacredness is. Without that feeling of wholeness, the thought of one being sacred or having a sacred purpose is not even a consideration.”
“When a person feels SCARED, they no longer feel SACRED.”
Jerry Trello(American Author; UNKNOWN )
“The darkness can seem all consuming and a chronic state. Once I left the darkness of my past life, I realized I was a prisoner in a prison of my own creation. Merely living in motion vs. movement. ‘There is a difference between living in motion, and being in movement. Motion is just going around and around, occupying time and space, but staying stuck whether it’s good for us or not. Movement is interconnected growth in your sacred purpose.’ What was so, was that I needed to create a new context for my life to live into and be in action to create the new possibility of living.“
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Oscar Wilde(Irish Author and Poet; October 16th, 1854 ~ November 30th, 1900)
“The thing about survival though is that it is not true growth. It is just that, survival. And it sets us up as victims in our own wounded stories, telling and living the same tale over and over again, and perpetuating the same cycles.”
“Wounded stories when we are young are so painful and often set into our psyche before or when we are just developing language. When I was very young after my brother was born, I remember being at my maternal grandmother’s home for a family event. Baby pictures were being brought out and shared with relatives. I painfully remember my mom and dad chuckling as they looked at newborn photos of myself and my new baby brother. At this moment, before anyone had said something, I glanced at the photos with the general acknowledgment in my head that…’Yeah that is me and that is Matthew.’ I was not judging in my head…just acknowledging the fact. However, then the conversations amongst the adults began and I heard the following from my parents: ‘Oh he was a perfect Gerber baby and Heather came out with a pointy head, fur all over and looked like a monkey.’ My father even made some monkey sounds to embellish the story. At first, I was shocked. Had I done something wrong? Why was I only learning about this now? Had I been so ugly this whole time? I felt foolish, embarrassed and let down by the two people I trusted the most. Regrettably, in that moment I created a wounded story or context for the rest of my life outside of the last three years to present. I now understood that I was not ideal…I was not beautiful…I was not worthy…I WAS NOT ENOUGH. Once my context was set, I then set about finding evidence to prove my story was true. I even asked an aunt to show me what a Gerber baby looked like so I could compare to myself and know I was not enough. Unfortunately, all children do this and create contexts for their lives based on experiences in which the do not have a full understanding. They just fill in the gaps. I truly believe my parents were not being malicious. Likely, they were embellishing the story to get attention or look good, which is what ordinary humans do socially. Even so, the impact had been made, received and I was attached to this context. If the two most important trusted people in my life would say this, then it must be true. In order to keep their love I believed I needed to be more than anyone else in order to retain their love and attention. This context led to me to strive for perfection since I wasn’t enough as my own self. I never thought I was enough, worthy or beautiful, so I was lucky for anyone to give me attention. I became a elite athlete in order to be enough. I earned a scholarship to college to be enough. I didn’t ask for what I needed as an adolescent or young adult from my parents because I believed I wasn’t enough. I moved out of my parents home at 18 years old so as to not burden them with shame of not being enough. I defaulted into a marriage because I believed I would never be enough for anyone. When my athletic career ended I was in a tail spin as to what I could do to bridge the gap of my lack. So, I became a professional coach so no one would see I wasn’t enough. I won national championships and have records in my collegiate Hall of Fame to hide my lack of being enough. This is when I became disconnected, unrelated and withdrawn from my own life. I had spent decades running after the elusiveness of being enough. Even the assimilation of my culture created internal shame for who I was and thus…AGAIN NOT ENOUGH. It is funny that my whole drive was based on not being enough for everyone else. I didn’t even consider being enough to myself. It pains me to look back at her and realize she was SO WORHTY…SO BEAUTIFUL…SO ENOUGH.”
“Although it may take work anytime we choose to face our sacred darkness, we are brought closer to our sacredness and closer to a connection with the Creator. Simultaneously, these teachings can also allow us to make peace with the baggage and the cycles of fear, pain, shame and disconnectedness that have walked with us in our lives, and transform them into medicine and sacred circle of life teachings.”
“It is these lessons and challenges that come to us through the various stages of life, beginning with childhood, where rooted teachings are planted. As we cross the adolescent bridge, physiological, emotional , mental an spiritual experiences being an entire new series of teachings. Moving to the third phase of life, adulthood, we carry the sacredness or woundedness, and are given the additional responsibility to guide others. If we carry these unhealed wounds into adulthood, the brokenness can be passed onto subsequent generations. Finally the fourth stage of elderhood – it is the phase of sharing unconditional love and the wisdoms of life with the next generation. However, if an elder is wounded, the wounded elder’s teachings can put in motion an inter-generational sharing of disconnectedness and pain that can have a profound effect on all for a long time to come.”
“I know I was a good mom…I mean I was a great mom! However, I do realize I carried my wounded story with me while raising my children. I am sure they have scars from my own fears and pain. I have made peace with myself and if anything was inadvertently passed on to my children I ask for their forgiveness and understanding. One day if they choose to reconnect, I welcome the opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings or assumptions they too made when young children and adolescents. My hope would be that they learn to know me newly as I am now. Because the past doesn’t exist and the future has not happened. Only the present is real and I am choosing to live and be in the present. Recognizing I am the last elder in my indigenous roots lineage, I owe it to my relations to pass on the unconditional love and wisdoms of my own sacredness and my cultural teachings. I welcome the opportunity to help my relations find their own sacredness and indigenous culture connection.”
“You are either drawn by wisdom or pushed by pain. Either way, you will have to move,”
Caroline Myss(American Author; December 2nd, 1952)
“So, if we didn’t receive the essential rooted teachings of childhood and instead experienced the wounded side of life’s lessons, at some point our spirit will search to try to heal. If misguided, we may look to substitute the need for these teachings in people, relationships, and perhaps eventually food, alcohol, substances, work and/or other activities. And when disconnectedness, shame, neediness, or fear of rejection become our motivation for living, we end up in wounded relationships, settling for less than what is truly fulfilling, and/or stuck in a pattern of despair.”
“Our ultimate wish is that the cycles of life’s wounds, sometimes generations old, will be healed; that the pain of the cycles and the energy of negative forces will be lessened so that the next generation will carry less burdens of pain, fear, self-destruction and disconnection, and more sacred teachings of interconnectedness, joy and blessings.”
“My hope is that by facing my own darkness and sharing without flinching I can shed myself of the wounded story that consumed my life. I want the next generation to not be burdened with my made up wounded story…however real it felt to me. This story no longer owns me. This story is not true. This story shall no be passed on. This story is dead to me. I am no longer wounded, broken or not enough. I now live into my freedom, power and my full self-expression. I am validated each moment of my life with the love I have with my forever partner and husband, Neil. His love has healed me. His love has erased my story. His love completes me.”
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 6-15.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
“I see a time of seven generations, when all the colors will gather under the sacred tree of life and the whole earth will become one circle again.”
Crazy Horse(Lakota Leader of the Oglala Band; UNKNOWN ~ September 5th, 1877)
Introduction
“In every healthy community, village, or barrio, historically and traditionally, there was a sacred tree where individuals, families, and the community as a whole would gather. The tree had roots connected to the sacred elements of the universe: the earth, the sun, water, wind and grandmother moon. These elements connected generations of energy and life, serving as the symbolic focal point, rod of life, or spiritual alter.”
“There have been significant trees throughout my life. The golden locust tree in the front yard in my Eugene, OR. childhood home. A deciduous tree known for its vibrant golden-yellow foliage. I remember the leaves being so delicate. If you gently stroked the length the compound leaves (many leaflets on one stem) they would retrack to close. I felt like I was interacting with the tree in a very personified way. The long willow branches hung low enough to grasp a bundle and swing across the lawn. Always watchful for my parents yelling from the living room to, “Stop swinging on the branches and breaking them off! During my teenage years, I remember scrambling through the redwoods. Building forts and play hide-n-seek amongst the magical giants. As an adult, I nurtured and loved a few Japanese maple trees that I planted when my children were born. Upon leaving this home, I noticed how treasured and mature these beauties had become. As an elder, I have yet to find my tree. I am confident I will find it and it too will add to my journey.”
Gatherings in Circles, Ceremony, Traditions, and Customs
“…families and communities increasingly understood that in order to survive and grow, they needed to continually be re-grounded in their sacred roots, their authentic history, and the positive principles of life. People have always gathered around the sacred tree or in sacred places, in circles, mirroring nature, as a way of honoring and keeping in harmony with these principles. In circles, and through positive ceremonies, traditions, and customs, the principles and values were taught, reinforced, and strengthened. The sacred principles provided the way for the individual, the family, and the community to survive through difficult times and not lose focus on one’s greater purpose. The ceremonies and traditions also assured that life affirming values and principles were taught, maintained and passed on from generation to generation in a sacred way. And when one did stray from this sacredness, there was a welcoming, safe place to re-root oneself.”
“The seed of a tree that goes way back and connects all of us to a genetic memory of wholeness that calls to us throughout our lives, especially in times of darkness and struggle. Despite this, we have all. at some point, found ourselves in that place of darkness– a state of imbalance that leaves us wondering how to get back to that place of health, harmony and fulfillment. …In that stats of prolonged imbalance, one may begin to believe that this sense if disorientation, distortion, and darkness is normal. …Because when we get to that state of being we tend to forget what health, wholeness and sacredness is. Without that feeling of wholeness, the thought of one being sacred or having a sacred purpose is not even a consideration.”
“This was my old life. I was trapped in a narcissistic chaos which consumed and created my context for living or not living. As an indigenous woman who was raised in complete assimilation, I feel very disconnected to my ancestral roots. As I have grown into my authentic self and realizing I now am the elder in my family, I feel drawn to my native roots. My dad had shared that his grandmother had told him I was a seer. I had never explored or even considered what that meant much before now. As I watch how I interact with the world I see it popping up organically as a part of who I am. My empathic vein makes me a conduit for others to seek me for help. I love helping others and also realize how taxing this is to my emotional state. I am getting better at tempering when I offer my sacred insight and when I chose to keep it close to my heart. I have always described my existence similar to a battery. If unmetered, it simply runs down and I pay the price. I now am a better listener to my inner voice and my own needs to create better balance and flow in my life journey.”
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 1-5.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 