December 26th, 2025
“LOVE recognizes no barriers. LOVE jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination Full of HOPE.”
Maya Angelou (American Memoirist and Essayist; April 4th, 1928 ~ May 28th, 2014)
Chapter 6: Dancing With Your Face And Heart
“The third teaching is that of Ixtli in Yolloti, or of Face and Heart – the ability to live your life with a sense of face and heart balance. In this teaching, we discover the importance of seeking balance in our lives. This sacred duality is a part of daily life in every culture throughout the world. Again, in our modern, fast-paced society, it is a great challenge to truly move in balance. Many of us find ourselves stuck and not moving at all, but merely being in a sense of motion, i.e. going through the motions.”
“Motion and movement, although related, are two very different processes. Often we find ourselves in motion, completing our tasks and participating in life, but really, we are just staying in the same place in terms of our spiritual and developmental growth; following ingrained patterns in our lives, but not growing, not learning, not healing, and therefore, not really moving. This is exemplified when people feel stuck, unmotivated, or even lost. Society gives us certain hierarchical markers such as degrees and titles and materialistic measures of success like money, houses, cars, and other luxury items to falsely judge whether we are successful or not. The sad reality is that many people, who are successful according to society’s definition, are not truly happy or balanced.”
“Indigenous cultures look at success in a different way, not based on linear, hierarchical or materialistic standard, but more on a circular nature. To illustrate this paradigm, imagine concentric circles The outer circle is our physical sense. The second circle is mental sense. The third circle is our emotional sense. And the fourth inner circle is our spiritual dimension. In the center of those four circles is where we find our sacred self, our sacred purpose connected to our soul.”
“What happens when we are stuck, or are in motion, is that we continue to go around the same outer circles, the physical and mental rings, without moving closer to our center. We know that if we continue doing the same things over and over again, we’re probably going to get the same results – being caught in the same position around your circle, no closer to balance or to our inner sacredness. This lesson of Face and Heart speaks directly to the process of transitioning from being in that type of motion that leaves one stuck, to true movement. The goal here is to move closer o our true selves, to who we really are; closer to our own sacred purpose and authentic sacredness. It is this sense of Face and Heart that allows us to bring balance to our lives.”
“In cultures all across the world, they talk about a sense of duality. In the Taoist tradition, they speak of yin and yang, and in African principles, they follow the concepts of will and intent. Also, the African concept of Sankofa is being mindful of looking back on the lessons of the past in order to best account for the present and prepare for the future. In my traditional, indigenous teachings in the Nahauatal language, they talk about Itxli in Yollotl. Itxli is the sense of face that looks backward and forward. You may have seen it represented in Mexican or Latin American art or artifacts – a sculpture or painting with a dual face. Some people may think that this represents someone being two0faced, but that is incorrect. In indigenous thought, Itxli is a purposeful duality of face. One face looks backward toward the ancestral teachings and the lessons that have come into our own lives. At the same time, it incorporates a face that looks forward on our journey to fulfill our Sacred Purpose. This creates a sense of true movement that takes us forward with acknowledgement, understanding and acceptance. This enables us to truly live life with our sacred purpose.”
“The other side of the teaching includes being balanced with a sense of heart, which in the Nahuati language is called Yolloti or Corazón in Spanish. It is the sense of heart, an interconnected heart, a compassionate heart, holds unconditional love – one that reaches within us to our soul/spirit. If we look deep into our heart, we begin to hear a spirit, we begin to feel a spirit, and we begin to hear an inner voice that connects us to the true essence of not only our feelings, but to an ancestral wisdom. That heart is also connected to our sacred relationships – the relationships with God, nature, the universe, our ancestors and the people around us. When we live within an awareness of face and heart, we can then experience a sense of balance. When we move through our lives with a sense of balance, we’re allowed to grow and heal with true, interconnected movement.”
Weeding Your Garden From Wounded Patterns
“We begin by ‘weeding our garden’. It starts by weeding away patterns that don’t contribute to our sacredness and our sacred purpose; those things that don’t contribute to feeling in harmony with our journey in life.
“It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher will show up.”
“Addictions come in many forms and mine has been overextending myself to help others to the detriment of my own self which has distracted me from honoring my own sacredness.”
Breaking Wounded Patterns
“I will review five major patterns that keep us from truly moving towards sustainable Face and Heart balance in our lives.”
‘But Why?’ Syndrome
“Often, when we reflect on what has gone on in our lives, and especially the painful experiences, we want to know why.”
“Usually the ‘But why?’ comes up even more in those of us that feel that we have been the best person we could have been in a relationship. We feel that we tried to be the best that we could in our relationships and life, so why would someone treat us that way? We tried to be honorable and we don’t understand why we were mistreated.”
“This is especially true when focusing on an unanswerable ‘why?’ These questions keep us stuck with no resolution, because the lesson is not ours to figure out in the first place. It has more to do with the actions of the other person, not us. Even though hurt people hurt people, it is really their lesson because they committed the act. So for us to search in ourselves as to why another person did something, or why the events happened in a particular way, is a futile battle. We are actually carrying anther person’s baggage when we carry these type of questions as our own.”
” The truth is that while we struggle with these issues and questions, many times the other person that hurt us is off someplace in their…next phase of life without a care at all about what we are still obsessing over. Often people don’t even recognize the degree of pain that they caused others, and in actuality, never will. In addition, as we carry these lessons, it energetically blocks the other person from really learning their own lesson.”
“Release the need to justify or make sense of the experience. It’s time to acknowledge it happened, see the lesson in it, and let it go. Besides, often there is no logical reason in the sense of fairness or balance, for certain actions.”
“Excessive analysis perpetuates emotional paralysis. You cannot heal and resolve your emotional material with your mind. The mind is the great divider. Your emotional material does not evaporate because you watch it. You can heal your heart with your heart. Your heart is the great connector. When it opens, healing happens.”
Jeff Brown (Author & Spiritualist; 1926 ~ 2003)
“Let me just say that the more that you can practice the first teachings of honoring yourself, being present, and paying attention to the gifts in your life today, the easer it is to release the ‘why?’
“As a suggested first step, consider in your meditation or prayers to ask for help. Whatever your belief or higher power, God, Creator, Spirit Guides, Ancestors or whoever, ask them to take the ‘why?’ from you, and the need to understand.”
“I have added this to my midday meditation time. After my meditation, I kneel on the floor with my palms and forehead in contact with the earth. I deposit the negative energy I am carrying into the earth so it can be transformed and thus transform myself. I repeat, ‘O’ Creator please take the why from me. The only things important are that I am loved, blessed and sacred.’ I then sit up on my heels and breath in my 7 sacred breath while thanking the Creator for my sight, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, heartbeat and breath all while inhaling and exhaling cleansing breaths.”
“Surrender to what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be.”
Sonia Ricotti (Author; 1965)
Anger And Resentment
“When things occur in our lives that cause us pain, sorrow, or shame, our spirit feels out of equilibrium. …Whatever the justification given, even if your mind wants to accept the rationale that if you would have been different, then things would have been good, your spirit knows the truth. And in that confusion, when you don’t come to a healthy resolution, your spirit feels uneasy, which breeds a sense of anger.”
“Anger is the frustration that we feel when we are unable to resolve and return to a place of truth and connectedness. Anger is often the mask for hurt, fear or feelings of abandonment or disloyalty.”
“Finally, unresolved anger can also breed resentment, which is energetic frustration resulting from wanting to right the wrong, and bring balance. Once again, it’s important to note that when we continue to focus our energy on a past hurt or on unresolved wounds, we divert our attention from the lesson we need to learn. …It’s okay to hold a memory of someone from the past, but it’s up to you if you energetically allow them to take up space and stay present, even emotionally, in your current life. In addition, when we feel the need for another person to ‘understand’ what they have done to us, or what has occurred from our point of view, then we feed the frustration that exacerbates the sense of being stuck. This then triggers the many other frozen emotions that we have repressed, and magnifies these feelings.”
Releasing Anger And Resentment
“God sometimes removes people from your life to protect you. Don’t run after them.”
Rick Warren (American Author; January 28th, 1954)
“If you are going to do this in a good way, you should set aside at least 1 to 2 hours for this ceremonial process. If you feel better having support, you may ask someone that you implicitly trust to be with you in the process. If not, you may do it on your own and/or ask your ancestors or a special ancestor to join and guide you spiritually. Plan to do this in a ceremonial way, with the intentions of goodness and healing (not with a sense of harm), and with the goal of becoming lighter and clearer in your life. If it is part of your ceremonial or faith practice, you can burn a candle, sage, copal, cedar or other herb to assist in the cleansing process. Either way, begin the process by taking a moment, taking a few deep breaths, asking for spiritual guidance and support, and attempting to do this in a good way.”
“The first part of this process is to write a letter to someone with whom you have unresolved anger and resentment. As you are writing the letter, jot your feelings down without hesitation or censorship of language. Just write down what you would like to say to that person. Often, it is not recommended to confront that person directly. Perhaps the person has moved on, or is not even alive anymore. Regardless, the true purpose of this process is for you to release the toxic feelings, not for the other person. So write this letter or speak it into a recorder, just to release everything you’ve ever wanted to say about how you feel, and how the relationship has impacted you. After writing the letter, create a small symbolic ritual where you shred it or burn the paper with the intention of letting it go. To assist your self in releasing this toxicity, it may be helpful after you’ve burned or shredded the letter to incorporate a visualization process to move the negative shadow elements away from you. You can do so by first settling yourself in a comfortable space in front of your alter, if possible.”
- “Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it to the count of 4, and release your breath through your mouth. Do this 4 times.”
- “Now imagine yourself sitting at the ocean, or at a stream, with a bowl of water.”
- “Each time you exhale, visualize the negative feelings that you wrote coming out of you and falling into the bowl of water.”
- “As you finish with your words and your tears falling in this bowl, imagine yourself dumping the words and releasing the feelings into the ocean or the river, as you watch them float away.”
- “As you process this, make sure to breathe very deeply and allow the breath to come through you and out of you, cleansing your body of the angry and resentful feelings.”
- “With 4 cleansing breaths, give thanks and see yourself emotionally and spirituality free from these toxic feelings.”
- “Finally, make a commitment to stop telling this story of you as a victim, so that you can shift your energy past that experience.”
Embracing Your Culturally Based Traditions For Growth And Healing
“The indigenous Huichole people of Mexico have a practice that allows them to cleanse…, journeying and praying every year on a pilgrimage. On this journey, they each have a piece of rope with them. As they walk, they pray on what they need to release that takes them away from their sacredness, sacred purpose, and sense of balance. With each of the things that brings up a negative feeling, whether it was a person, something that happened to them or even what they did to someone else, they tie a representative knot in the rope. The intent is to release these feelings or thoughts, no longer carrying these things inside of them. They walk and pray about this baggage until arriving at the ceremonial fire. On this day, so goes the tradition, each person offers these things up to die or pass. They then share with all those present, the things that they needed to let go, and throw their rope in the fire with the intention of releasing the toxic thoughts and feelings.”
“This tradition speaks powerfully to me. I have some red leather cording I plan to use for this. I also think for overall growth, it would be good to reflect at the end of each day any daily baggage and release via a knot so that each day starts newly. Having a piece of cord to knot before bed to release before expressing my daily gratitude could be something transformative. I will attempt to incorporate in my daily practice with the intent that on New Year’s Day in 2027, I could ceremonial burn my cord of baggage and cleanse myself.”
Shame As A Barrier
“The third barrier that blocks our movement and healing is shame. …Often times, oppressed, disenfranchised or immigrant populations have grown up with a sense of feeling ‘less then,’ unwanted or not wanted. They are made to feel like they don’t measure up or that their gender, gender identity, culture or ethnicity is inferior by witnessing racial or discriminatory acts happen to themselves their parents, relatives or people from their community. Science is also now recognizing what indigenous populations have known all along – pain and shame can impact you at such a profound cellular level, that the effects from these acts can get transmitted to subsequent generations.”
“Shame is a reflection of the shadow side of others, which we allow to influence our lives. Imagine standing in the sun and someone coming to stand between you and the sunlight, leaving you in a shadow. The person may be standing in your light unintentionally or ‘for your own good.’ Nevertheless, you don’t feel the light. As an example of this, I’ve heard family members make fun of how someone in their family looks, or their weight, or even their tone of skin ‘in a joking way,’ thinking it didn’t have an impact. But it did. …In the same vein, many women go through life, even from an early age, feeling ashamed of their bodies because of disrespectful remarks or stares they receive. When it happens so frequently, one may even come to tolerate this behavior or accept it as normal, even thought her spirit knows it doesn’t feel right. In the worst case scenario, she becomes accustomed to being in the shadow of shame so much that she believes that it is somehow deserved, and then begins doing it to herself.”
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.”
Jack Kornfield (American Psychologist and Writer; July 16th, 1945)
Releasing the Shameful Shadow
“So how do we undo the feelings of shame? It begins by recognizing that regardless of what anyone has told you, whatever you have done in your life, no matter the situations where you stayed too long, or whatever other shameful behaviors you have exhibited because of shame, in the core of your spirit, you are still sacred. It is about knowing that regardless of the circumstances that have brought you to this shameful place, you did the best you could with the awareness, which often included wounds, you had at the time.”
“Part of this cleansing is also having the willingness to release the shame others have bestowed on you, and shed the judgement that we place on ourselves for the actions we have committed. …That’s why there is a dual face – looking back, but not ‘Living Back’ (living in the past). You see, looking back is remembering the lessons and the teachings, which is important. However, there is no need to live back, and remain in the emotions of the past.”
“When it comes to self-trust, there is a powerful choice we must all make. As human beings, we often seem primed to remember who and what hurt us rather than focusing on how we made it through the pain.”
Iyanla Vanzant (American Inspirational Speaker and Lawyer; September 13th, 1953)
Facing Fear As A Trickster
“This then brings us to the fourth barrier – Fear, the trickster of life. …this can also cause us to become slaves of our past burdens. …this can also cause us to become over cautious, hypersensitive, and reactive to everyday challenges…”
“If you live life in fear of the future because of what happened in the past, you will end up losing what you have in the present.”
Nishan Panwar (Author; September 1989)
“Too many of us are not living our lives because we are living our fears.”
Les Brown (Motivational Speaker and Former Ohio State Representative; February 17th, 1945)
Forgiveness
“Forgiveness does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for the future.”
Luis B. Smeades (Author; August 20th, 1921 ~ December 19th, 2002)
“The lesson of forgiveness is often one of the most difficult processes to incorporate into your life. …Many people believe that forgiving someone means that you release that person from their responsibility of the act. It does not. It also does not mean that if you forgive someone, now you trust them, have positive feelings for them or want a relationship with them. But it is important to understand than unforgiven acts take up spiritual and energetic space within us, and in the end, makes it difficult for us to see and accept new blessings because the big bowling ball is in the way, then you will stay stuck in your journey.
Understanding
“It’s important to accept that you will never truly understand the rationale for someone else’s behavior. …most times, the person who committed the act(s) doesn’t know why. …The question then becomes, ‘Are you willing to stop hurting yourself by putting energy into attempting to undo something that occurred, or trying to figure out why?’ Accept that it happened, that you need to surrender to that truth, and move on.”
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that that situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
Dr. Steve Maraboli (Behavioral Scientist, Motivational Speaker, Author, and Leadership Coach; April 18th, 1975)
Integration
“The third step here is transitioning from the victim of this story, and other situations, by forgiving yourself as well. This means letting go of the negative self-talk about oneself, or the other person. This means being willing to integrate the process of catch and release into your learning. …Yes, this means you must commit to stop telling the story again as you recognize that it is toxic to you when you open that chapter again.”
Movement
“The following will guide you through a healing ceremonial process of forgiveness.”
Forgiveness: Releasing The Story
“Set aside at least half an hour for this ceremonial process. If you feel better having support, you may ask someone that you implicitly trust to be with you in the process. If not, you may do it on your own and/or ask your ancestors or a special ancestor to join and guide you spiritually. Plan to do this in a ceremonial way, with the intentions of goodness and healing (not with a sense of harm), and with the goal of becoming lighter and clearer in your life. If it is part of your ceremonial or faith practice, you can burn a candle, sage, copal, cedar or other herb to assist in the cleansing process.”
“Take a deep breath and settle yourself into good intentions of releasing and healing yourself. As the narrator of the story, what you want to do is tell the story of an incident that still burdens you with just the know facts, trying not to get sucked into the emptions of the incident(s). After you have told the story while breathing deeply, sit for a moment and recognize that you are you, in spite of the incident(s). You are in a safe place where you are at, and you are sacred just the way you are.”
“To assist yourself in releasing this toxicity, it may be helpful to incorporate a visualization process to move the negative shadow elements away from you.”
- “Now take a deep breath in through you nose, hold it to the count of 4, and release your breath through your mouth. Do this 4 times.”
- “Now imagine yourself sitting at the ocean or at a stream, with a bowl of water.”
- “As you breathe in and exhale, begin telling the story of the incident as a storyteller, with just the facts.”
- “Visualize, with every exhale, that the facts of the story that you are telling are falling into the bowl of water.”
- “As you finish with your words falling into this bowl of water.”
- “As you finish with your words falling in this bowl of water, imagine yourself dumping the story and releasing the feelings into the ocean or the river as you see them floating away.”
- “As you’re processing this, make sure to breathe very deeply and allow the breath to come through you and out you, cleansing your body of the anger and resentful feelings.”
- “Now with 4 cleansing breaths give thanks and see yourself emotionally and spiritually free from these toxic feelings.”
- Finally, make a commitment to stop telling this story of you as a victim, so that you can shift your energy past that experience.”
Self-Forgiveness: The Biggest Mountain To Climb
“As we were finishing a sweat lodge ceremony, the medicine man said to us, ‘Now the real ceremony begins: to do the work to live these teachings every day, in all your relationships.'”
Jerry Trello (Author)
“While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God’s creation.”
Maya Angelou (American Memoirist and Essayist; April 4th, 1928 ~ May 28th, 2014)
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 83-124.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 