February 22nd, 2026

Excavating the Real You, Part II

“My memory is certainly in my hands. I can remember things only if I have a pencil and I write it and I can play with it. I think your hand concentrates for you. I don’t know why it should be so.”

Dame Cicily Isabel Fairfield DBE (known as: Rebecca West or Dame Rebecca West) (British Author, Journalist, Literary Critic, and Travel Writer; December 21st, 1892 ~ March 15th, 1983)

“Pick up your pen to play and in your daily dialogue pages return to the home of your childhood. …How was it decorated? Take a walk through the rooms and see them once again. Did you clean your room? Was the door usually kept closed? What was your favorite spot in the house? Was your mother a good cook? Do you ever prepare any of her special recipes for yourself? …How did your mother comfort you when you were sick? When was the last time you had alphabet soup and saltines for lunch on a try in bed? …Where did you go on vacation? To your grandmother’s house? Can you remember them? Is there a sense memory you associate with childhood vacations?”

“Now fast-forward to your teenage years. Were there any girls in your class that you admired? Envied? Who were they and why? Did you go to prom? Decribe your gown. How did you fix your hair? Who initiated you into the feminine rituals of good grooming? Was there an older woman in your life whose sense of style impressed you?”

“Let’s move ahead to when you set up your first home, either as a young working woman or when you first got married. Where was it? How was it furnished? Are you still living with some of your early decorating choices? Do they reflect who you are now or have you outgrown them? Are you living with things that you’ve inherited from your family? Do they really suit you?”

“Minor things can become moments of great revelation when encouraged for the first time.”

Dame Margaret Evelyn de Arias DBE (known as: Margot Fonteyn) (English Ballerina; May 18th, 1919 ~ February 21st, 1991)

“We tend to think it is the major events that mark our lives, when really it is the minor moments that resonate in memory.”

My Bucket List

“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-22-22)

• “Childhood
  • How was your childhood home decorated?
    • Their were beautiful oak floor covered with wall-to-wall avocado shag carpet…YUCK! It was a 3-bedroom 1-bath rambler on a 1/2-acre lot. My room had the oak floors exposed. We had a huge yard with a large garden and a fe orchard trees on the back of the property. Our house was located on a dead-end street.
  • Did you clean your room?
    • Oh goodness yes! I cleaned my room fro a very young age…4-5 years old onward.
  • Was the door usually kept closed?
    • My door was mostly open.
  • What was your favorite spot in the house?
    • My favorite spot was under the square grand piano in the living room or the ceiling cupboards above my bed.
  • Was your mother a good cook?
    • My mother was a decent cook. We were on a tight income, so creative meals were a challenge for my mother.
  • Do you ever prepare any of her special recipes for yourself?
    • Yes, I make her strawberry shortcake with homemade whip cream, sometimes.
  • How did your mother comfort you when you were sick?
    • When really little, she would rub my back with lotion and sprinkle baby powder on my back.
  • When was the last time you had alphabet soup and saltines for lunch on a tray in bed?
    • Never.
  • Where did you go on vacation?
    • Often to visit our extended family (Maternal side)
  • Did you go to your grandmothers?
    • Yes.
  • Can you remember them?
    • Yes.
  • Is there a sense memory you associate with childhood vacations?
    • The jingling of coins in a sock. We got to bring our allowance on vacations and the only way to carry it was in a sock.
• Teenage Years
  • Were there any girls in your class that you admired? Envied? Who were they and why?
    • Yes. Renee Barglowski, my best friend, I both admired her and envied her. She was a a beautiful girl living the perfect life. She was a solid athlete, loved by all her classmates, popular, Prom Queen and all around nice person. She was kind to me even though I was awkward and not popular. I longed to have a “normal” life like hers.
  • Did you go to prom?
    • Yes.
  • Describe your gown.
    • Mom bought me a white and purple formal dress at a Riverside outlet mall. I thought it was pretty.
  • How did you fix your hair?
    • Not much to do as I had a super short haircut and had just returned from the CIF Championship Finals for Track & Field, so I was in a rush.
  • Who initiated you into the feminine rituals of good grooming?
    • No one. I had to watch and learn from my friends without letting them know I didn’t know what I was doing. Mostly, I tried and failed a bunch on my own. I never really figured it out or created my own style.
  • Was there an older woman in your life whose sense of style impressed you?”
    • My Great Aunt Dot had ways of doing things, dressing and decorating her home that left me in awe. I loved when I was asked to stay with her in the summer for a few weeks at a time. During those visits, I would soak up all the etiquette I could absorb.
• First Home
  • Where was it?
    • Before the birth of my 2nd child we bought our first home in Spanaway, WA. It was an underdeveloped area, that quickly boomed as the city stretched outward.
  • How was it furnished?
    • In the beginning, whatever we could afford. I remember we bought a Levitz couch, love sofa and coffee table set that lasted us until the kids were in high school. Everything was mismatched and I never felt like my personal touch was anywhere in the home to reflect me.
  • Are you still living with some of your early decorating choices?
    • We did for a lng time as money was always tight.
  • Do they reflect who you are now or have you outgrown them?
    • None of my furnishings reflected me at all. They were all practical items that frankly, were not my choice most times.
  • Are you living with things that you’ve inherited from your family?
    • Yes.
  • Do they really suit you?”
    • Yes, the items I have kept remind me of my family and who I was before I entered into my abusive marriage. They were the only things that reflected me and where I came from.” (Heather Houston 2-22-22)

“Today, I am not feeling I need to keep up with the ‘Jones’. Instead, I look at my home as my sanctuary and items must be appealing and have function. Just to collect stuff seems unnecessary. Simplicity is so much more appealing. My husband has excellent taste and the furnishing in our home are largely from his time and I love each item as it has a space and a reason for being there…no more and no less.: (Heather Houston 2-22-26)

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–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 55-56 of 501.

I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.