#96 Piece of My Heart (Big Brother & The Holding Company and Janis Joplin) 👍🏼
Lyrics: Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on Didn’t I make you feel like you were the only man? Yeah And didn’t I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? Honey, you know I did And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I’ve had enough But I’m gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it) Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoa, have a) Have another little piece of my heart now, baby You know you got it if it makes you feel good Oh, yes indeed You’re out on the streets looking good And baby, deep down in your heart, I guess you know that it ain’t right Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night Babe, and I cry all the time But each time I tell myself that I, well I can’t stand the pain But when you hold me in your arms, I’ll sing it once again I said come on, come on, come on, come on and take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah Have another little piece of my heart now, baby Well, you know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it) Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, c’mon now (whoa, have a) Have another little piece of my heart now, baby You know you got it, whoa Take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it) Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoa, have a) Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good
I had an unexpected and transformative experience on my birthday. The intention was to drive from Oklahoma City, OK to Broken Bow, OK to find the gravesites of my paternal great grandparents and to pay my respects and perform ceremony. What unfolded to and from this trip on my birthday was exceptional.
I witnessed 34 eagles over the freeway on my path to Broken Bow and another 43 on my return trip to Oklahoma City. 77 total, mostly golden eagles spied on my pilgrimage to my native roots. Why is this significant? It follows the honoring of 7 generations forward and 7 generations backward. My journey itself was to reconnect and align with my native roots and complete the circle I had been on 56 years ago. It was my own Vision Quest to find my cultural self. My maternal Auntie Sue was also going into a very serious surgery on my birthday and the good medicine (Eagle sightings) aided her in a successful outcome. She was healed and I was healed. I could not have asked for a better birthday experience. I am in the flow of the Universe and honoring this message. I kept track of the sightings by texting my husband each time I saw one or more eagles. It was such a huge lesson on being present and in the moment. I traveled to Broken Bow via I-40 East–>South OK-375 (Through Choctaw Territory)–>State Highway 3 East and back the same way.🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
To Broken Bow, OK from Oklahoma City, OK
I-40 East (5 🦅)
Before Wewonka Exit 212 🦅
Exit 272 🦅🦅
Exit 237 🦅🦅
South OK-375; Choctaw Territory–>State Highway 3 East (29 🦅)
Exit 92 🦅
Just beyond Exit 92 🦅
Entering the Choctaw Territory boundary 🦅
Mile Post 780 🦅🦅
Mile Post 760 🦅
Exit 700 🦅
Mile Post 655 🦅🦅
Mile Post 600 🦅🦅
Mile Post 580 🦅🦅
Mile Post 255 🦅
11:24 AM 🦅🦅🦅🦅
Last 50-miles to Broken Bow 🦅🦅🦅
Last 45-miles to Broken Bow 🦅
Last 40-miles to Broken Bow 🦅
Last 39-miles to Broken Bow 🦅🦅
Last 32-miles to Broken Bow 🦅
Last 30-miles to Broken Bow 🦅
Last 29-miles to Broken Bow 🦅
Last 14-miles to Broken Bow 🦅
To Oklahoma City, OK from Broken Bow, OK
State Highway 3 West–>North OK-375; Choctaw Territory (21 🦅)
44 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅🦅
39 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅
33 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅🦅
32 miles to North OK-375 🦅
26 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅
24 miles to North OK-375 🦅
21 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅 (One flew out of a tree beside the freeway right over my windshield)
20 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅
15 miles to North OK-375 🦅
7.8 miles to North OK-375 🦅🦅🦅
2 miles to North OK-375 🦅
North OK-375; Choctaw Territory (22 🦅)
69 miles to I-40 West 🦅
60 miles to I-40 West 🦅
56 miles to I-40 West 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
53 miles to I-40 West 🦅🦅
51 miles to I-40 West 🦅
44 miles to I-40 West 🦅
40 miles to I-40 West 🦅🦅🦅🦅
39 miles to I-40 West 🦅
38 miles to I-40 West 🦅
29 miles to I-40 West 🦅🦅
My intention on my birthday was to find my paternal great grandparents gravesites to pay respects, catch them up on their family and to preform ceremony to honor my elders. It was quite the trek!
On the drive from Oklahoma City to Broken Bow, I spied 34 eagles flying right over the freeway in Choctaw Territory. I even thought is was interesting that the bathrooms at a gas stop even had Choctaw written on the signage. I was deep in Indian Country.
When I got to Broken Bow, I wanted to find my Great Grandparents Hood. They were buried in the Broken Bow Cemetery. After walking the grounds for an hour and seeking help from a groundskeeper. As I spoke to him I noticed his voice sounded like my dad’s voice and accent. It seemed to bring forth a southern drawl I recognized. I sounded like my grandmother Vera. What is interesting, is that her voice was asking the landscaper for help to find her parents and my great grandparents. I was amazed at what my voice sounded like and how I was channeling her in the moment. After I shared the approximate years they were alive, he pointed to a section of the cemetery where I had started looking and said the 1880-early 1900s are over there. He also suggested that I see the city clerk who would be able to look up the section and row they might be buried in.
I quickly headed to the clerk’s office as the drive to Broken Bow took longer than expected and I was running out of daylight. I must have looked half crazed when I entered the clerk’s office with my native dress and medicine bag daggling around my neck. The woman patiently listened to my request and made an attempt to find my grandparents. She looked up and said, “I can’t find them.” Another worker watching my conversation immediately approached and offered the employee some assistance on how to dig deeper for older burials. Like magic they found them and gave me their location. They all smiled as they could see the relief on my face to have the precious information. I then asked about my other great grandparents Houston to see if they could give me their location at the Holly Creek Cemetery. Before I barely got the words out both women said, “Ohhh no, that is a rural cemetary…an Indian cemetery. You might be able to talk to the pastor at the church near the cemetery to see if they have a map.” I smiled and anxiously thanked them for their help and rushed back to the Broken Bow Cemetery to find my great grandparents Hood.
I returned to the cemetery and after another hour of walking the rows as I had not been able to find a section marker. I was beyond frustrated and tired as it was 85-degrees, I was likely dehydrated and I knew to complete my Vision Quest, I needed to find their gravesite. After tramping around a huge oak tree, I saw a strange mesh metal sign near a gravestone. It looked out of place so I examined it further. There was a big letter “A” on the front. BINGO! I immediately knew there must be what the section markers looked like. Now mind you, I was at the front of a large cemetery and just found section A and needed to find section G. I sighed deeply and scanned the cemetery to see if I could spy any more section markers. No luck. I had already methodically been walking the rows of section A, so I thought I would keep walking the rows in order until I got to section G. The light was turning to late afternoon and I was a bit panicked. I went to my care which was parked near the section I was assessing and lit my sage. I smudged myself and the ground I was about to search on. I called out loud to the gravesites ahead of me and asked those buried for my forgiveness in trapping across their sites. You see this graveyard was a complete mess and you couldn’t tell if you were walking across graves or not. I wanted all of the Universe’s positive energy to empower me to find the Hood gravesite and I thought why not speak to the generations before me and ask for help and permission to run through the graveyard. It was so surreal as I felt presence with me. I began jogging up and down the rows of the cemetery just looking for a marker at this point since I already knew I was not in section G. As I returned to my car for water, I sighed heavily and teared up thinking that what I was proposing to do would fail. I looked up into the boughs of this large Walnut tree and spoke out loud, “Please help me find them.” I turned to return my water to the car and saw it…the section G marker. I froze and visually counted 1-2-3-4. I took the gamble and walked into the 4th row. Within 5 gravesites I found them. I was sobbing and elated all at once. I felt a huge relief pass over me. I honored them with ceremony. The videos below make it hard to hear my words on purpose. I wanted and needed to say raw and private messages to my kin and I know what I said and that is the sacredness of this moment.
Paternal Great Grandfather James Oscar Hood (December 25th, 1892 to May 19th, 1987) US ARMY PVT; WWI
Paternal Great Grandfather James Oscar Hood (December 25th, 1892 to May 19th, 1987) US ARMY PVT; WWI
Paternal Great Grandfather James Oscar Hood (December 25th, 1892 to May 19th, 1987) Married January 14th, 1919 Paternal Great Grandmother Lottie Lee Hood (April 6th, 1903 to January 24th, 1980)
I stood between both their gravesite near their feet and looked toward them. I felt the warm breeze cool the sweat on my brow and felt a sense of profound calm. As I stood there it felt as if “others” were with me…surrounding me as I took in the magical moment. I thanked everyone buried for their help and said aloud, “I now must find my other great grandparents Houston.” As I drove out of the gate I felt like a circle on my journey was complete. Before leaving I took one last look to take it all in.
My heart was pounding in my throat as I realized this search and find of my great grandparents took 3 hours and it was already 4:00PM and the sun was on its way down in a couple hours. I recognized that I needed to get moving quickly. I set my phone GPS to find the Holly Creek Cemetery and sped down the back roads to find my Great Grandparents Houston.
The Houston’s were buried at a rural cemetery that the clerk did not have on file. GPS took me to the Holly Creek Church and I walked the entire grounds hunting for anything that remotely looked like a grave. No luck. I began wondering if I would even find the cemetery in the boonies. I attempted my GPS again and wouldn’t you know I had no service. I also was in such a rush to get to this location, I didn’t have a physical map. I started to panic a bit as I felt I was lost and deep in back the back country of Choctaw Territory. The one thing about losing GPS, is that a piece of the map is still shown. I enlarged the map to see what I was near and still felt lost. I retraced my route to a main road and made a guess as to which direction to go. As I drove down this road I passed a nursery in the middle of nowhere. I kept driving and as I watched the sun hanging low in the sky I peeled the car around quickly and changed directions. II knew I needed help. Again I called out to the Universe for help. I turned into the nursery and parked. I went into te office and it was empty. I could see a person way down one of the greenhouse rows. I ran to the person. As I got closer they seemed taken aback. I had not time to explain. I blurted out, “Do you know where the Holly Creek Cemetery is?” The woman stopped and considered for a moment. Yes, I believe i attended a funeral there a while back.” I asked, “How do I get there as I don’t have a map and my GPS is not working.” She said with a laugh, “Welcome to Choctaw Territory, GPS doesn’t work here.” “I explained why I was so desperate to find the cemetery and the woman kindly gave me directions. Now I know I was listening to her, but because of my sheer anxiety and fatigue, it seemed everything was in slow motion. In retrospect, I am sure I was have a bit of heat exhaustion. I thanked the woman and ran back to may car an d returned to the road in the same direction I had originally chosen. As I drove, I realized I still didn’t know where I was going. All I remember from her directions was something about going down the road and split happens and you want to take the right. After about 5 miles the road turned and a random dirt road went off to the right of the turn. Something in me stirred and I knew I must check out this road. As I turned up the road I spied a white church steeple and the cemetery was in view. I quickly parked near the drive in entrance to the cemetery.
This was a much smaller cemetery and seemed it had little no caretaking. This time I brought a bottle of water and before starting I smudged myself and the area I was about to embark and spoke aloud to the “residents” that I was here to find my great grandparents and that I pray their forgiveness for running through the cemetery to find them because of the dwindling light. Within minutes I was running down the rows. The only advantage I had was i knew what the gravestone looked like from an image on ancestry.com. Thus, I was able to pass any upright gravestones. I walked over half the cemetery looking desperately for their gravesite. I was despondent and called out to the Universe again to please help me find them before the sun set. I suddenly heard a bunch of oak seed pods falling behind me from a very large oak. Nothing exceptional. However, I turned to look. In front of me was a large upright gravestone all out of black marble with the name “Richter” in large block letters. It looked so out of place in this largely modest cemetery. I felt the cool breeze against my brow and I sighed. Again, I heard the plop-plop-plop sound of oak seed pods dropping to the ground. This time they seemed to drop just on the other side of the “Richter” Something deep inside me said, “Go look.” I walked past the large marble stone and stepped down into an area between 2 large oak trees. And right where the seed pods dropped was my Great grandparents Houston’s gravesite. I was elated and honored to be in the this sacred moment. I honored them and performed ceremony. The video below make it hard to hear my words on purpose. I wanted and needed to say raw and private messages to my kin and I know what I said and that is the sacredness of this moment.
Holly Creek Cemetery is next to the Holly Creek Community Church
Harold T. Houston (October 20th, 1884 to December 28th, 1970) Lura N. Houston (January 16th, 1898 to February 21st, 1991)
On my drive back to OKC through Choctaw Territory I witnessed another 43 eagles. In total 77 eagles in one day…AMAZING. In native culture 7 is a significant number referring to honoring 7 generations before and 7 generations after. I felt everything was in place for an exceptional moment in my life and the most magical birthday ever!
I am so very thankful for this Vision Quest Journey that I set my intention to and was able to fulfill…56 years in the making. I feel whole, healed and complete!🪶
Lyrics: I take two, okay You say you want a revolution Well, you know We all want to change the world You tell me that it’s evolution Well, you know We all wanna change the world But when you talk about destruction Don’t you know that you can count me out, in Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) You say you got a real solution Well, you know We’d all love to see the plan You ask me for a contribution Well, you know We all doing what we can But if you want money for people with minds that hate All I can tell is, brother, you have to wait Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) You say you’ll change the constitution Well, you know We’d all love to change your head (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) You tell me it’s the institution Well, you know You better free your mind instead (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) If you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao You ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All, all, all, all (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All, all, all, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah)
Lyrics: Set me free, why don’t you babe? Get out my life, why don’t you babe? You really don’t want me, you just keep me hanging on You really don’t need me, you just keep me hanging on Why do you keep coming around, playing with my heart? Why don’t you get out of my life When seeing you just breaks my heart again There ain’t nothing I can do about it You know I need love Set me free, why don’t you babe? Talkin’ ’bout love Get out my life, why don’t now? You really don’t want me, you just keep me hanging on Get out my life, why don’t you babe? Get out my life, why don’t you babe?
Lyrics: (I want everybody to get up off your seat And get your arms together, and your hands together And give me some of that o-o-old soul clapping) You didn’t have to love me like you did But you did, but you did And I thank you You didn’t have to squeeze me like you did But you did, but you did And I thank you If you took your love to somewhere else I wouldn’t know what it meant to be loved to death You made me feel like I’ve never felt Kisses so good I had to holler for help You didn’t have to squeeze me but you did But you did but you did And I thank you You didn’t have to hold me but you did But you did but you did And I thank you Every day was something new You pull out your bag and your fine to-do You got me trying new things too Just so I can keep up with you You didn’t have to shake me like you did But you did but you did And I thank you You didn’t have to make it like you did But you did but you did And I thank you All my life I’ve been shortchanged Without your love baby, it’s a crying shame And now I know what the fellas are talking about When they say that they been turned out I want to thank you (thank you) Thank you (oh, baby) Thank you baby (yeah, yeah) Oh baby (I gotta be thanking) Got to say You didn’t have to love me like you did But you did, but you did. (And I thank you.) You didn’t have to hold me like you did But you did, but you did. (And I thank you.) Thank you (thank you, baby) Baby (Got to thank you) Baby (oh, baby) Thank! I’ve! Got! I’ve got to (thank you baby) Thank you baby (oh baby)
Thomas Stearns Eliot OM (Known as: T.S. Eliot) (Poet, Essayist, Publisher, Playwright, Literary Critic and Editor; September 26th, 1888 ~ January 4th, 1965)
“When we live our lives authentically, we discover our true place in the world for the first time.”
“It takes tenacity and daring to travel to the darkest interior of one’s self. Who knows what we might find there?”
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”
John Ronald Reuel Tolkien CBE FRSL (known as: J. R. R. Tolkien) (English Writer, Poet, Philologist, and Academic; January 3rd, 1892 ~ September 2nd, 1973)
“Our dragons are our fears : our day stalkers, our night sweats. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failing. Fear of starting something new and not finishing. Again. Or the real fear, the one that sends shivers up our spines: the fear of succeeding, of becoming our authentic selves and facing the changes that will inevitably bring. We ight not be happy with the way we are living now, but at least it’s daftly familiar.”
“…there is really nothing to fear from self-awareness because at the end of all our personal ecploration, we will arrive back where we started and know in our hearts that we finally belong there.”
Thomas Stearns Eliot OM (Known as: T.S. Eliot) (Poet, Essayist, Publisher, Playwright, Literary Critic and Editor; September 26th, 1888 ~ January 4th, 1965)
“Today, if you feel frightened or unsure about the future, pick up the double-edged sword of Light and Love. Always remember, it’s simple not an adventure worth telling if there aren’t any dragons. But as in the best old tales, at the end of your exploring, you will live happily ever after.”
See the King Penguins on Volunteer Point, Falkland Islands
Before my story began…(Heather Houston 2-16-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I drove the MINI Cooper out of the garage tis morning for the first time since I purchased it last night. Wouldn’t you know it, As I pulled out the garage a warning light came on…”Low Tire”. UGH! I got out checked all the tires and they felt just fine. I choose to drive to work and check the pressure and then reset the light. I think during the detailing a setting malfunctioned. This is new for me to not worry myself to death about something minor. YEAH ME!” (Heather Houston 2-16-22)
“
“The dragons that lurk in the shadows of our lives can only be slayed with the double edge sword of love and light. Lately, I have been feeling empty in my job. It is not using my skills and I am surrounded by extremely needy people who suck the energy from people like myself. As an empath, I have to buffer myself from people who are vampires. I need to find something that fulfills my purpose and what gifts I can provide the world. Funny how when we age we must reinvent ourselves.” (Heather Houston 2-16-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 50-51 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 