#95 Piece of My Heart (Big Brother & The Holding Company and Janis Joplin) 👍🏼
Lyrics: Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on Didn’t I make you feel like you were the only man? Yeah And didn’t I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can? Honey, you know I did And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I’ve had enough But I’m gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it) Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoa, have a) Have another little piece of my heart now, baby You know you got it if it makes you feel good Oh, yes indeed You’re out on the streets looking good And baby, deep down in your heart, I guess you know that it ain’t right Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night Babe, and I cry all the time But each time I tell myself that I, well I can’t stand the pain But when you hold me in your arms, I’ll sing it once again I said come on, come on, come on, come on and take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah Have another little piece of my heart now, baby Well, you know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it) Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, c’mon now (whoa, have a) Have another little piece of my heart now, baby You know you got it, whoa Take it Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it) Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoa, have a) Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good
“The body is a sacred garment. It’s your first and last garment; it is what you enter life in and what you depart life with, and it should be treated with honor.”
Martha Graham (American Dancer and Teacher; May 11th, 1894 to April 1st, 1991)
“Which comes first, learning to love our bodies or possessing a positive body image?”
“If you can learn to like how you look, and not the way you think you look, it can set you free.”
Gloria Steinem (American Journalist and Social Activist; March 25th, 1934)
“Don’t wait for the world to celebrate you. Carve your own niche. Focus on what’s great, forget what’s not. Find joy in your own reflection. Instead of obsessing about a body that’s impossible to achieve without a personal trainer, begin to discover how you can feel better about living in the on e you now inhabit.”
“A woman’s relationship with her body is the most important relationship she’ll ever have. More important than husband, lover, children, friends, colleagues. This isn’t selfishness–it’s just fact. The body is, quite literally, our vehicle for being–for giving, for loving, for moving, for feeling–and if it doesn’t work, it’s fairly certain that nothing else in our lives will work, either.”
Diana K. Roesch (Health & Fitness Expert; December 2nd, 1963)
“Today, instead of hating your body, make peace with it. Choose to consciously love and honor the sacred garment Spirit provided for this lifetime’s journey.”
“I am so appreciative that my genetics and health active lifestyle has yielded me youth beyond my years. I have always liked my body and valued the movement it has been able to experience. I have counseled many young teens to adult women on body image for over 30+ years. On this path, the main culprit preventing women from achieving their health and wellness goals has largely been their own invisible conversation in their head about body image and self-love. For those who were able to share honestly with me how they saw themselves, I was able to help be their advocate and accountability partner in changing both behavior and their physical appearance. For those looking for a gimmick or a quick fix, they largely stayed trapped in their own story and thus their insides tended to match there outsides. It is not magic, it IS self love and grace for the garment that the Universe gifted you to wear in this life journey. Take care of it and it will take care of you. Use it or lose it.”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 116 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
Lyrics: Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn Everybody’s building ships and boats Some are building monuments Others jotting down notes Everybody’s in despair Every girl and boy But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here Everybody’s gonna jump for joy Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn I like to go just like the west, I like my sugar sweet But jumping queues and making haste Just ain’t my cup of meat Everyone’s beneath the trees feeding pigeons on a limb But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here All the pigeons gonna run to him Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn Let me do what I wanna do, I can’t decide at all Just tell me where to put it And I’ll tell you who to call Nobody can get no sleep, there’s someone on everyone’s toes But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here Everybody’s gonna want to doze Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn Come all without, come all within You’ll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn
Lyrics: I take two, okay You say you want a revolution Well, you know We all want to change the world You tell me that it’s evolution Well, you know We all wanna change the world But when you talk about destruction Don’t you know that you can count me out, in Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) You say you got a real solution Well, you know We’d all love to see the plan You ask me for a contribution Well, you know We all doing what we can But if you want money for people with minds that hate All I can tell is, brother, you have to wait Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) You say you’ll change the constitution Well, you know We’d all love to change your head (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) You tell me it’s the institution Well, you know You better free your mind instead (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) If you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao You ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right? (Ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All, all, all, all (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All, all, all, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah) All right, all right (ah, shu-bi-do, ah)
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”
Judy Garland (American Actress and Singer; June 10th, 1922 ~ June 22nd, 1969)
“You see, whether we are consciously aware of it or not, we’re constantly programmed by the world to be other women, not ourselves. …With this pervasive social schizophrenia, it’s no wonder that most women are terribly confused about the issue of authenticity.”
“According to Webster’s Dictionary, to be authentic is to be ‘not imaginary, false or imitation.’ To be authentic is to be ‘genuine, veritable, bona fide, being actually and precisely what is claimed.’ The only thing that we can genuinely claim to be is ourselves. But our best is good enough, even on a bad day.”
“We are all hard on ourselves. We not only want to be other people, we want to be perfect versions of them.”
“We should only strive to be a first-rate version of ourselves. And our best is always good enough.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-23-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“Where do we learn this odd behavior of trying to be someone we are not. We reach for the ideal of being someone other than ourselves. I have spent a lifetime trying to be someone…anyone other than myself. Makes me sad to think I never thought I was enough.” (Heather Houston 3-23-22)
“Growing up in a family of quilters, the below quote speaks volumes to being your authentic self and that perfection is ridiculous…” (Heather Houston 3-23-26
“…Amish quilters will deliberately add a mismatched patch to each quilt to remind themselves that only Spirit can create perfectly/”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 89-90 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Don’t you love it when some incredibly beautiful woman like Linda Evans or Cindy Crawford tells us that the real beauty secret is finding your inner light? No shit. But I’ve done the dame things these women have done to find my inner light and while it’s true I’m happier, I still don’t look lie them.”
Marianne Deborah Williamson (American Author, Spiritual Leader, and Political Activist; July 8th, 1952)
“We can’t all look like Linda Evans or Condy Crawford, but we can each look our best. Simplicity plays a part in striking the right chord of self. This occurs naturally as we begin to rethink how to put together our best look. Our authentic look. Gradually we learn that the ‘less is more’ approach applies to makeup and fashion as well as to decorating and entertaining.”
“Ironically, this desire to look our best comes after we have committed to our inner work. As we go within, searching for spiritual groth, we begin to blossom on the outside. Time well spent in meditation gives us more serenity, and it shows on our faces. Learning to love ourselves exactly as we are gives us motivation to move forward…”
“Why does working on our inner beauty produce outward charm? Perhaps it is because the two are inexorably connected.”
“As is inner, so is the outer.”
Gnostic axiom
“Women who realize thei full potential delight the Great Creator with their brilliance.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-20-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I have mostly ignored or underestimated my outer beauty. My story whispered to me that I was unlovable, unworthy, not enough. I pursued my inner beauty in hopes of others seeing me and being able to overlook my outward packaging. Ho-Hum…not what I wanted my life to be. I want to feel beautiful inside and out. I strive to work on my own self-image daily.” (Heather Houston 3-20-22)
“I am really at a point where I genuinely like my inside and out. With love in my life for the first time where I can give it freely and receive it without reasons, I am feeling happier and more beautiful than ever. I really love my 50s and my 60s are going to be smashing!”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 86-87 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Repose is a quality too many undervalue. …In the clamor one is irresistibly drawn to the woman who sits gracefully relaxed, who keeps her hands still, talks in a low voice and listens with responsive eyes and smiles. She creates a spell around her, charming to the ear, the eye and the mind.”
Good Housekeeping (November 1947)
“We have all met her, that special woman who draws you into her orb with a radiant smile. Her eyes light up as you tell her how you’ve been. She attracts men, women, children, and animals, for her complete attention is soothing and hypnotic. When you walk away from her you feel as if you have been bathed in a beautiful warm light.”
“You have. It’s called Love, and this ancient beauty secret is available to all of us. When we are genuinely interested in others, a graciousness comes over us that is compelling.
“She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside. She talked as if she were already in the shell. In their very shell.”
Marita Bonner (known as: Marieta Bonner) (American Writer, Essayist, and Playwright; June 16th, 1899 ~ December 6th, 1971)
“Would that each of us were such a woman. Would that each of us could become one. We can. …by taking the time to step outside our own sphere to embrace others, we open ourselves up to the power of Spirit. We are suddenly lit up from inside, and this illumination can transform our looks more effectively than any fancy salon beauty makeover.”
Today, as as if you are a woman with repose of the soul. Greet everyone you meet with a warm smile. …don’t rush your encounters. Speak softly. Listen attentively. Act as if every conversation you have is the most important thing on your mind today. Look…your partner in the eyes when they talk to you. …caress the dog. Lavish love on every living being you meet. See how different you feel at the end of the day.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-19-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I see parts of me in this charismatic space from time to time. I am already very warm and approachable, which lends itself to this space with others. I think I miss it sometimes as I am oblivious. I need to be more intentional about how I engage with others.” (Heather Houston 3-19-22)
“Repose of the soul is what my husband reminds me of everyday. He says I am a sexy hot fun chic and completely irresistible when I don’t hide. I have spent most of my life hiding behind not being lovable or worthy. No longer. UNLEASH THE SNOW LEOPARD!” (Heather Houston 3-19-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 85-86 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
#68 The Fool On The Hill (Sergio Mendes & Brasil ’66) 👍🏼
Lyrics: Day after day alone on a hill The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still But nobody wants to know him they can see that he’s just a fool And he never gives an answer but the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down and the eyes in his head See the world… spinning round… Well on the way his head in a cloud The man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud But nobody ever hears him or the sounds he appears to make And he never seems to notice but the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down and the eyes in his head See the world… spinning round… But nobody seems to like him They can tell what he wants to do And he never shows his feelings but the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down and the eyes in his head See the world… spinning round…
Mary Therese McCarthy (American Novelist, Critic and Political Activist; June 21st, 1912 ~ October 25th, 1989)
“In every one of us there lies a sleeping beauty waiting to be awakened through love. Because she has dlumbered for so long, she must be awakened very gently. But instead of waiting for Prince Charming to storm the palace gates, you must summon the magic powers of your authentic self to break any cruel enchantment that has left you unaware of your own glory.”
“It’s hard to tell our cad luck from our good luck sometimes. Hard to tell sometimes for many years to come. And most of us have wept copious tears over someone or something when if we’d understood the situationbetter we might have celebrated our good fortune instead.”
Merle Shain (Canadian Author and Journalist; 1935 ~ 1989)
“What was your spindle? Was there a moment when you pricked yourself and fell into a deep slumber? Or did you just slowly shut down? Perhaps the cruel enchantment was caused by overly critical parents,…”
“It is time to awaken, sleeping beauty. Your creativity, imagination, and authentic sense of style are far superior to any sorcerer’s spell, no matter how strong.”
“One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you, and while nothing in your life is reversible, you can reverse it nevertheless.”
Merle Shain (Canadian Author and Journalist; 1935 ~ 1989)
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-18-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“My finger prick moment happened shortly after the picture above…around 3-4 years old. My parents were showing pictures of myself and my brother as newborns. My parents shared with my aunts and uncles how “squished” I was from birth and that my father thought I looked like a monkey. From then on, I made up meaning about this moment. I believed that the two most important people in my life who was supposed to love me, left me distrusting of love and I labeled myself as not human and not enough. I have lived in that context my whole life. Very sad to admit, but I believe now that the past doesn’t exist and I no longer have to be trapped by this unreality. I must work on this every day…every moment to remind myself that I am worthy…even to myself.” (Heather Houston 3-18-22)
“I recently read an article in Psychology Today about Cold Mother/Parent Syndrome and how it affects their children. Both my brother and I experienced many of the symptoms from our childhood. My brother took on some variations different from my own likely due to his birth number, him being male and him being a planned birth. However, below are only a few of the symptoms I experienced and how I interpret my brother’s experience. This sharing an awareness is not to be malicious, and it is necessary to name it to move past it. I can’t control others and how they take responsibility for their own baggage. I do have a responsibility to myself and those I love to process and move through this pain and drop the expectations of a relationship that really doesn’t exist on a substantive level. I was the catalyst that changed my parents life and dreams. My mother especially shared how I came along and prevented her from pursuing medical school. My brother was the perfect Gerber baby and I felt invisible. I resented my brother for so long and didn’t realize we were both just surviving in an unhealthy relationship with our mother and father. Even as I write this I mourn that I am not a priority to my mother. She has excuses for why she is unable to communicate and share with me. This is nothing new, excuses are the reasons for her lack of loving behavior. She has not put in the time to work on her own baggage with her own mother who also perpetuated the Cold Mother Syndrome. This is a generational trauma that just keeps getting passed to each new generation. I am naming it and speak the truth loudly to attempt to prevent this cycle from repeating. Maybe seven generations forward, this trauma will be healed and for now, I am committed to healing myself.” (Heather Houston 3-18-26)
“Cold mother syndrome describes a pattern of parenting marked by emotional unavailability, distance and neglect, leaving their children feeling neglected, unimportant, and unloved. This causes severe, long-term psychological damage to a child’s self-esteem, attachment, and development. It is recognized as a profound form of childhood trauma and relational trauma.”(Heather Houston 3-18-26)
“SIGNS
Emotional Distance/Lack of Affection: Unresponsive to a child’s emotions or needs, often appearing cold or distant.
Robotic Interaction: Parenting is often transactional, appearing cold, rigid, or inauthentic, like wearing a ‘mask.’
Victim Mentality: A tendency to act as the victim if confronted about their emotional distance.
Lack of Empathy: A tendency to struggle to understand how their own children are feeling and may not seem to care or act to help with their own children’s needs and emotions.
Disengagement: Not showing interest in their children or adult children’s activities, hobbies, or achievements.
Rarely Offering Praise or Support: Rarely encourage or acknowledge their children’s successes to the children. Transactional praise to others to uplift their own self-interests.
CAUSES
While not an excuse for abuse, potential reasons for this behavior often stem from the mother’s own history, including her own upbringing with unavailable parents, a history of trauma, and/or a lack of developed emotional intelligence.
Unresolved Past Trauma: Parents who’ve experienced trauma in their own lives may have difficulty forming emotional connections with their children.
🧠I believe my mom suffers from past traumas which are completely unknown to myself as she has never shared her own challenges growing up and through adulthood.
Mental Health Issues: Conditions such a depression, anxiety, or personality disorders can impact a parent’s ability to engage emotionally with their children. This can lead to the parent becoming unresponsive to their children’s needs.
🧠I have considered for a long time that my mother suffers from depression.
Lack of Emotional Awareness: Some people, especially those who had emotionally withdrawn parents themselves, may not know how to express their feelings. This can make it difficult for them to be there for their own children.
🧠My mom was the oldest of 8 children and I definitely see how she too was forced into roles at young age when she needed more emotional support. I remember hearing my mom speak about having to help raise her siblings and that when she left for college she felt resentment from her own mother.
EFFECTS
Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Children often grow up feeling unlovable or unworthy of affection.
Attachment Issues: Struggles with forming close trusting relationships, often experiencing fear of intimacy or fear of abandonment.
Emotional Dysregulation; Difficulty recognizing or expressing emotions in healthy ways.
Mental Health Issues: Increased risk of depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD (CPTSD).
Physical Health Issues: Potential for higher stress levels and faster cellular aging due to chronic stress.
Perfectionism or Overachievement: In an attempt to gain their parent’s approval or compensate for the lack of affection, some children might push themselves to excel at the expense of their own wellbeing.
Chronic Feelings of Loneliness and Isolation: Children who don’t receive adequate emotional support from their parents might grow up struggling to feel connected to others.
HOW TO HEAL
Seek Therapy: Professional help, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help treat the trauma and develop emotional intelligence.✅
Reframe Your Narrative: Shift you perspective from being ‘unworthy’ to realizing that neglect was not your fault.✅
Establish Boundaries: Protect your emotional well-being by setting firm, healthy boundaries with the parent.✅
Practice Self-Care: Focus on nurturing yourself and building a healthy, loving inner life.✅
Build a Supportive Community: Cultivate relationships with friends and family who provide the warmth and validation you didn’t receive growing up.✅
CAN A COLD PARENT CHANE THEIR BEHAVIOR?
They can change their behavior, although it requires awareness, effort, and, oftentimes, professional support. Many people don’t change their behavior. However, if they’re going to try to change, the first step is recognizing their actions and the impact they’ve had on their own children and the people around them. Professional help can help address underlying issues, such as past traumas, mental health problems, etc.” (Heather Houston 3-18-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 84-85 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
Lyrics: (I want everybody to get up off your seat And get your arms together, and your hands together And give me some of that o-o-old soul clapping) You didn’t have to love me like you did But you did, but you did And I thank you You didn’t have to squeeze me like you did But you did, but you did And I thank you If you took your love to somewhere else I wouldn’t know what it meant to be loved to death You made me feel like I’ve never felt Kisses so good I had to holler for help You didn’t have to squeeze me but you did But you did but you did And I thank you You didn’t have to hold me but you did But you did but you did And I thank you Every day was something new You pull out your bag and your fine to-do You got me trying new things too Just so I can keep up with you You didn’t have to shake me like you did But you did but you did And I thank you You didn’t have to make it like you did But you did but you did And I thank you All my life I’ve been shortchanged Without your love baby, it’s a crying shame And now I know what the fellas are talking about When they say that they been turned out I want to thank you (thank you) Thank you (oh, baby) Thank you baby (yeah, yeah) Oh baby (I gotta be thanking) Got to say You didn’t have to love me like you did But you did, but you did. (And I thank you.) You didn’t have to hold me like you did But you did, but you did. (And I thank you.) Thank you (thank you, baby) Baby (Got to thank you) Baby (oh, baby) Thank! I’ve! Got! I’ve got to (thank you baby) Thank you baby (oh baby)
My Distilled Life 