Vita Mary Sackerville-West, Lady Nicolson, CH (Known as: Vita Sackville-West) (English Author and Garden Designer; March 9th, 1892 ~ June 2nd, 1962)
Playing Dress-Up: Empowering Your Authentic Self with Fun
“Learn the craft of knowing how to open your heart and to turn on your creativity. There’s a light inside of you.”
Judith Ann Jamison (American Dancer and choreographer; May 10th, 1943 ~ )
“What the heck! The delights of self-discovery are always available.”
Gail Sheely (American Author, Journalist, and Lecturer; November 27th, 1936 ~August 24th, 2020)
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 4-1-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“Spring has arrived, time to go through my closet and look at my clothes newly.” (Heather Houston 4-1-22)
“Today wearing my NICWA Conference shirt in native community was powerful. I saw so many relatives wearing items I have rotated in and out of my closet over time. Reassuring that my authentic self speaks to me in this way. Soaking up on as much as I can on the last day of the conference.” (Heather Houston 4-1-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 103-104 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Don’t you love it when some incredibly beautiful woman like Linda Evans or Cindy Crawford tells us that the real beauty secret is finding your inner light? No shit. But I’ve done the dame things these women have done to find my inner light and while it’s true I’m happier, I still don’t look lie them.”
Marianne Deborah Williamson (American Author, Spiritual Leader, and Political Activist; July 8th, 1952)
“We can’t all look like Linda Evans or Condy Crawford, but we can each look our best. Simplicity plays a part in striking the right chord of self. This occurs naturally as we begin to rethink how to put together our best look. Our authentic look. Gradually we learn that the ‘less is more’ approach applies to makeup and fashion as well as to decorating and entertaining.”
“Ironically, this desire to look our best comes after we have committed to our inner work. As we go within, searching for spiritual groth, we begin to blossom on the outside. Time well spent in meditation gives us more serenity, and it shows on our faces. Learning to love ourselves exactly as we are gives us motivation to move forward…”
“Why does working on our inner beauty produce outward charm? Perhaps it is because the two are inexorably connected.”
“As is inner, so is the outer.”
Gnostic axiom
“Women who realize thei full potential delight the Great Creator with their brilliance.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-20-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I have mostly ignored or underestimated my outer beauty. My story whispered to me that I was unlovable, unworthy, not enough. I pursued my inner beauty in hopes of others seeing me and being able to overlook my outward packaging. Ho-Hum…not what I wanted my life to be. I want to feel beautiful inside and out. I strive to work on my own self-image daily.” (Heather Houston 3-20-22)
“I am really at a point where I genuinely like my inside and out. With love in my life for the first time where I can give it freely and receive it without reasons, I am feeling happier and more beautiful than ever. I really love my 50s and my 60s are going to be smashing!”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 86-87 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Any little bit of experimenting in self-nurturance is very frightening for most of us. There is a connection between self-nurturing and self-respect.”
Julia B. Cameron (American Teacher, Author, artist, poet, playwright, novelist, filmmaker, pigeon fancier, composer, and journalist; March 4th, 1948 ~ )
“Perhaps we are all Scrooges when it comes to self-nurturing because if we were kind to ourselves, our creativity might begin to blossom like a plant moving toward the light. Of course, this would mean we’d want to make some changes in our lives, and we all know how we feel about changes, even positive ones. We may be in a rut, but at least our own familiar grooves are comforting in their own insidious fashion.”
“The way to take giant leaps and strides toward authenticity, however, is through small changes.”
“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.”
Count Lev “Leo” Nikolayevich Tolstoy (Russian Writer; September 9th, 1828 ~ November 20th, 1910)
“Today, make a list of ten nice things you could do for yourself. Now select one and do it.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-15-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
Ten Nice Things To Do For Myself: (Heather Houston 3-15-22)
Pedicure
Manicure
Color Hair
Buy Conditioner
Buy Leave-In Conditioner
Face Mask
Go See A Movie
Make Myself A Cocktail (Pour an apple whiskey on the rocks) 3-15-22
Listen To Fun Music
Take A Nap.
Ten Nice Things To Do For Myself: (Heather Houston 3-15-26)
Pedicure
Manicure
Buy Conditioner
Purchase 2 Boxes to hold our Malaysian/India Spices and Mexican Spices
Schedule therapist appointments to deal with past trauma. ✅
Purchase indigenous medicines at the NICWA conference in Oklahoma.
Exercise a minimum of 5 days/week.
Bake 1x/week.
Practice my violin.
Plan to get motorcycle to the shop to get a tune-up and repair the speaker system.
It seems some things keep reoccurring as I am not following through with nurturing myself.
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 81-82 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“I did not lose myself all at once. I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.”
Amy Ruth Tan (American Author; February 19th, 1952 ~ )
“Life batters us whether we are rich or poor, public or private. The wound we suffer may be an open cut or a slow, silent hemorrhage of the soul. On the outside we may look as if we’ve got our act together, but each of us encounters those dark stormy days when we feel very small, very fragile, and very frightened, as if we might shatter into a thousand pieces and break into heartrending sobs at something as simple as ‘How are you?'”
“When this happens we have to be kind to ourselves, not beat ourselves up. Leave that to the rest of the world. Our feelings are valid, our fears very real, even though they are probably not based on reality. Always remember that the best description of fear is ‘false evidence appearing real.'”
“When these occasions occur in your life, recall that your first duty is to love yourself into Wholeness. How to do this? By pampering yourself with simple pleasures and small indulgences. By treating yourself like the baby you are right now.”
“You don’t have to do everything and be everything for everyone else all the time. If you think you can’t possibly do one more thing without screaming or crying, you.re probably right. Start by saying, ‘no, I’m sorry. I’ve got a prior commitment.'”
“For, of course, you do. Today you need to be there for yourself. Remember, we did not lose ourselves all at once. But we recover our authentic selves one kind gesture at a time.
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-14-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I’ve been blue lately. Missing my kids. Trying to understand why getting a job has been such a nightmare. I just need a break. I need to be kind to myself.” (Heather Houston 3-14-22)
“‘No, I’m sorry, I’ve got a prior commitment’ Is harder to say sometimes. However, learning to put yourself first is how we heal ourselves. This is one of the hardest lessons I have embarked on learning and yet I know it true to my own happiness.” (Heather Houston 3-14-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 80-81 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
You Are Not Your Appearance, but Does the Rest of the World Know That?
“The tragedy of our time is that we are so eye centered, so appearance besotted.”
Jessamyn West (American Author of Short Stories and Novels; July 17th, 1902 ~ February 23rd, 1984)
“All of us can pull ourselves together some of the time. Some of us can pull ourselves together all of the time. But none of us wants to be ‘pulled together’ every single moment of our lives.”
“Probably you were taught, as I was, that how we present ourselves to the world is very important. Unfortunately, our outside packaging counts for far more than it really should. Often, when we don’t live up to the world’s expectations of how we should look or behave, we fall victim to a vicious circle of self-loathing and denial that can be difficult to escape from unscathed. At times like these, it’s a comfort to remember that our souls are more dazzling than cellophane.”
“Beauty is an internal light, a spiritual radiance that all women have but most women hide, unconsciously, denying its existence. What we do not claim remains invisible. It’ is God’s will that we be beautiful, that we love and be loved and prosper in all good things. It is God’s will that we all become the goddesses we were created to be.”
Marianne Deborah Williamson (American Author, Spiritual Leader, and Political Activist; July 8th, 1952 ~ )
“But as you become more intimate with your authentic self–as you recover your true, incandescent identity–there will come a gradual but undeniable physical transformation. It is absolutely impossible to commit to your spiritual growth, awaken your own radiant Light and not have it reveal itself on the outside.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-10-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“As a sapio/demi-sexual, I am trapped to seeing others insides before I see their outsides. Since I see the world this way I expect other to also. Regrettably, I am a very small part of the population…single digits. This might be why I always felt out of place. I often wish I was just “normal” like everyone else who is driven by appearance as a primary motivator.” (Heather Houston 3-10-22)
“‘It is God’s will that we all become the goddesses we were created to be.’-Marianne Williamson. I love this most of all as my husband has helped me find my inner goddess and she is sexy hot and fun!”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 77-78 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.”
Doris Mortman (Author; 1944 ~ )
“Simplicity gains importance in our lives as we begin to make peace with ourselves. This is because we gradually come to the inner awareness that we don’t need to gild the lily. Some of the trappings can be relinquished because the Real Thing is finally ready to be revealed.”
“I call this point in the Simple Abundance process ‘taking the plunge’ because it involves a courageous leap of faith in the most intimate way: exploring the way we express ourselves to the outside world through our personal our personal appearance. But this is much more than just how we dress or style our hair. It’s about the many subtle ways we choose either to celebrate or conceal our authenticity. It’s about finally acknowledging and accepting the woman within. It’s about learning to become comfortable with who we really are.”
“We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth.”
Mary Antin (American Author and Immigration Rights Activist; June 13th, 1881 ~ May 15th, 1949)
“One is not born a woman, one becomes one.”
Simone Lucie Ernestine Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir (French Existentialist Philosopher, Writer, Social Theorist, and Feminist Activist; January 9th, 1908 ~ April 14th, 1986)
“This becoming takes time. We need time to consider, time to reflect, time to make creative choices, time to emerge from the cocoon, time to clean out our closets, and time to clear away psychic cobwebs so that we might pare down to our essence.”
“Some of us have remained dormant for years–oblivious to our genuine beauty–drugged senseless by our own numbing disapproval, nagging doubts, and benign neglect. Coping strategies that once brought a sense of relief now only offers regret. To undo the damage and reconnect with our authentic selves we need to take the plunge, confident that Spirit is holding the net. Above all, we need to treat ourselves gently with the kindness we would bestow on amnesiacs who need the patient reassurance of their true identities.”
“Such a hard pill to swallow. I am definitely not kind to myself as my story tells me I am not worthy, enough, beautiful, valued and wanted. I fight this everyday. Somedays I feel like I am winning and some days I feel worse than a loser. I wish for myself to have more winning days. I deserve that much from myself.” ❣ (Heather Houston 3-8-22)
“I have chosen to give myself grace instead of being my worst enemy and battling and berating myself needlessly. This is easy to say, and it is a constant intention to quiet the stories running in my head. What I have learned that the greater silence I experience at this point in my life is so healing.” (Heather Houston 3-8-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 75-76 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Swiss-American Psychiatrist; July 8th, 1926 ~ August 24th, 2004)
“…the centrifugal forces of today.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (American Author and Aviator; June 22nd, 1906 ~ February 7th, 2001)
“I find it helpful to think of priorities as the wooden frame upon which we stretch the canvas of our days so that we may apply color and form to the work of art we are creating without the entire painting collapsing in the middle.”
“Quiet time alone, contemplation, prayer, music, a centering line of thought or reading, of study or work. It can be physical or intellectual or artistic, any creative life proceeding from oneself. It need not be an enormous project or great work. But it should be something of one’s own. Arranging a bowl of lowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day…What matters is that one be for a time inwardly attentive.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh(American Author and Aviator; June 22nd, 1906 ~ February 7th, 2001)
“Today make getting in touch with the Silence within yourself your first priority. As you do, you will be amazed at how everything else seems to find its own order.”
Blackfeet Warrior (Drawing w/Charcoal Powder); By: Jason Tako
Discover the magnificent, turquoise tiered waterfalls of Kuang Si, Laos
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-25-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I wasn’t very good at finding the Silence within myself today. Work was very stressful and after a 9-hour shift without a break, I was pooped. TGIF!” (Heather Houston 2-25-22)
“My priority is sustaining a loving and happy marriage with my husband. We create one another each day newly and then live into the day as the best date/party ever. Truly, it is a remarkable life and way to live. I cherish also my inward attentive moments like now when I read and reflect on a daily devotional. Giving back to myself fills my ‘Battery’. Loving my husband is my most beautiful work of art!”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 59-60 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
Ludwig Mies Van Der Rohe (German-American Architect; March 27th, 1886 ~ August 18th, 1969)
“You move into a completely empty house and start from scratch–money is not a consideration. Write down twenty specifics for your ideal home from architectural features to furnishings that are ‘must haves’ for you. …Are any of these items from your past? Where did you first encounter them? How long have you been dreaming about them? Are there any items from your childhood home?”
“20 Architectural Features & Furnishing Must Haves
Sun porch (Grandmother’s House; 3-4 years old; I have always wanted this; not from my childhood home).
Soft chaise lounge in sun porch (In a furniture store; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Overstuffed leather chair with brass button brad detail in a library (Read in a book and saw in an old movie; grade school age; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Library with leatherbound books and a fireplace (Read in a book and saw in an old movie; grade school age; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Walk in pantry (Grandmother’s House; 3-4 years old; I have always wanted this; not from my childhood home).
Large hearth in living room with a large threshold and bench area to sit upon in front of the hearth. (Grandmother’s House & Aunt Dot’s House; 10-12 years old; I have always wanted this; not from my childhood home).
Fireplace in every room (saw in an old movie; grade school age; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Claw-foot bath tub (Aunt Dot’s House; 10-12 years old; I have always wanted this; not from my childhood home).
Gas 6 burner with griddle area stove/oven (saw on a cooking show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Deep farmer’s sink in kitchen (saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Marble counters in kitchen (saw on a cooking show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Outdoor fireplace/fire pit (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Outdoor kitchen and BBQ (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Outdoor cabana with outdoor TV (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Pool with jacuzzi/spa (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Office shared with my partner (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
3-car garage (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Fenced yard so Kiva can play and go indoors to outdoors at will (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
2 Walk in closets with dressing areas (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Craft/Sewing room (I saw on a home improvement show; adult; I wanted this after I saw it; not from my childhood home).
Window seats in dining room or family room (Grandmother’s House; 3-4 years old; I have always wanted this; not from my childhood home).” (Heater Houston 2-23-22)
“Next, imagine that your closet and drawers are empty. You need to fill them. What are the first ten things you would either hang up or put away? You may either keep favorites from your present wardrobe or buy entirely new items. Which comes first for you, comofrt or career?”
“10 Wardrobe Item Must Haves (Comfort is primary over career)
20 pair of soft cotton thongs
20 pairs soft cotton ankle socks
Flannel pajama pants with soft long sleeve t-shirt
Soft night sleep shirts
Sweat pants and sweat shirts
Jeans
T-shirts
Sneakers
Sweaters
Sexy Tops” (Heather Houston 2-23-22)
“Your kitchen cabinets are bare. You need to buy new china, flatware, glasses, and linens for everyday use and for entertaining. Where do you begin? What pattern do you want to see every day? What shape glass do you enjoy drinking from?”
“I would have a formal china pattern with a modern design and simple elegant flatware and a daily set that is less formal. However, I would use both interchangeably without concern for special occasions.
The formal china would be hydrangea floral pattern or a modern graphic design.
I prefer round edge glassware. Something with a heavier base feel. Stemware and martini glassware needs to be durable and yet as thin as possible.” (Heather Houston 2-23-26)
“The soap in the bathroom, the flowers in the garden, the book on the bedside table are all strong symbols of life in progress. …You look at theses details and a world unfolds.”
Charlotte Moss (American Interior Designer and Author; Unknown ~)
“By paying attention to the details–your authentic gestures–you give expression to the most personal of all the arts: making your own imprint on life.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-23-26)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“It is super fun to play a mental game of “what if”. I have eclectic taste which is combined with my love of texture and comfort. All pieces and rooms in my dream house would be useable versus art pieces. I love a house filled with love and lived in. A home needs to have character.” (Heather Houston 2-23-26)
“I reread my 2022 entries above for if I was to fill a new home with those items important to me, what I would fill my wardrobe with and the glassware and eating ware that I prefer. Fascinating that I put so much energy into this back then. Likely, because I had never even considered any of it as finances have always been strained, so survival was my only concern. Now I realize I am much more practical with what I want vs. need. I feel great in my on skin, so I am not on a quest to find things to flourish myself as I am enough without special clothes or furnishings. Truly blessed to be at this point in my life living abundantly vs. scarcity.” (Heather Houston 2-23-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 56-57 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.”
Patricia Hampl (American Memoirist, Writer, Lecturer, and Educator; March 12th, 1946 ~ )
“We must dig patiently with our pens to excavate our real selves….And fo what are we searching? Shards of our authentic self.”
“As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.”
Joan Baez (American Singer, Songwriter, Musician, and Activist; January 9th, 1941 ~ )
“The more we learn about ourselves and our preferences, the easier it is to make these choices. And creative choice is at the heart of authenticity.”
“Choice confers freedom–the freedom to embrace the new because it speaks to your soul and you are listening. Today be willing to consider the choices you have made in the past as you trace your life. Have they been the right ones for you? Do you make choices with your heart, mind, or gut? Are you comfortable with your style of making choices, or do you wish to try a different approach? Was there something you did not choose in the past that, with hindsight, you now wished you had?”
“Perhaps a long-buried dream still calls to you from a road you chose not to take. If this is true, then stop telling yourself that it’s too late.”
“Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.”
Faith Baldwin (American Author; October 1st, 1893 ~ March 18th, 1978)
“The delay of our dreams does not mean that they have been denied. Perhaps now you have the wisdom to make alterations in your dream so that it can come true. Perhaps now you have the wisdom to choose differently.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-21-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“Certainly not all of my choices have been right. But, what is right? I am here now in a life that I am happy, joyful, and living authentically. Maybe all the choices needed to happen to get me here. If so, I would change nothing and do it all over again. I have always made choices using all three: mind, gut, heart. I am very intuitive and rely on this to guide me. I like the style I make choices, but sometimes wish I had even more of a carefree attitude. I think being neglected as a child and put in situations where my basic needs were not being met, led me to look for certainty in my life. I realize certainty is an unreality, but it was the only touchstone I had in my tool kit. I think there are always shoulda…coulda…wouldas for everyone in there past. Sometimes I think the access to a path is not available due to us not being ready yet.” (Heather Houston 2-21-22)
“I definitely make choices based on my heart, mind and gut. As an empath, I can’t avoid what I feel, sense and see. I don’t want my energies to be wound up in lamenting the past as my present is so fulfilling. My path was what is was to get me her and I am so thankful. I am the happiest I have ever been and am living in a loving relationship with my beloved husband and best friend.” (Heather Houston 2-21-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 54-55 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 