December 21st, 2025
“Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. ‘Be still,’ they say. ‘Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.”
Linda Hogan (American TV Personality; August 24th, 1959 )
Chapter 1: The Circle of Life
“The learning begins with the blessing of one’s birth, but may believe it truly started 7 generations before. But in the circle of life that begins with the birth of a child, when two people have come together – sometimes planned, Sometime not – male and female energies meet and they are blessed with a sacred moment in which the Creator, ancestors, and all the spirits say that a new life will enter this world; and a miracle happens.”
“And when that miracle of a child is born, the circle of life and life’s lessons continue – for the child, for the parents, for the ancestors and for all their relations. This path we walk is all about life’s circles; the sacred circle of life and the spiritual energy that comes from the Creator, handed down through the ancestors, all our relations, and life’s experiences. At the same time, each of us has our own journey, lessons and challenges to embrace, giving us teachings to pass on to our own children and the subsequent generations that follow. Thus the circle continues.”
“The circle has healing power. In the circle, we are all equal. When in the circle, no one is in front of you. No one is behind you. No one above you. No one is below you. The sacred circle is designed to create unity. The hoop of life is also a circle. On this hoop, there is a place for every species, every race, every tree and every plant. It is this completeness of life that must be respected in order to bring about health on this planet.”
Chief David Bald Eagle (Oglala Lakota; April 19th, 1919 ~ July 22nd, 2019 )
“As the remaining elder of my indigenous ancestors, I have felt the draw and pull to pass along my ancestor’s ceremony and celebration of each relations sacredness. I am on a quest to find my own indigenous roots. I feel blessed that this spring I will be able to attend the National Indian Child Welfare Association (NICWA) conference in Oklahoma City, OK. It will afford me a chance to rent a car and visit the neighboring townships of my grandfather and great grandfather in Eagle Town and Sulphur Oklahoma. To connect with the earth of my ancestors feels like an urgent draw for my own spirit.“
“We also come to understand that life is about duality. As there is no night without day, or day without night. And each of us live, at times, in the light and other times in the darkness. But every day we wake up in the morning and the Creator blesses us with Grandfather Sun to remind us that enlightenment is within us and is available to us every day.”
“Each day we get a new opportunity to learn, to shed, and to give blessings. …darkness is not necessarily negative or bad but rather, it represents the reflection…, or opposite end of the light. …the reality is there are certain lessons we can only learn in the dark. …and if we are willing to face the dark, other magical teachings and experiences are then revealed. …Out of that fear of darkness comes the cycles of pain, shame, abuse, addiction, and fear, which are the cycles of imbalance and disconnectedness that stagnate many of us and sometimes hold us frozen. And these cycles can pull us away from our true selves, from our sacred relationships and push us to treat others and ourselves in hurtful. harsh, criticizing, and painful ways. It is in the shadow energy of these cycles that sometimes harmful words and thoughts come out of people’s mouths and minds, our own and others’, pushing us to judge and criticize. And in doing so, this contributes to the disconnection, or fear of never being able to live at peace again. When one feels scared like this, they no longer feel sacred. …And when that happens, a fear-based cycle of life takes on an energy that is larger than life itself, which begins to engulf one’s total spirit. …Those patterns then become integrated into one’s heart and mind leaving them no longer knowing who they really are or who they are meant to be.”
“I recognize that a large portion of my adult life was spent not knowing myself or a connection to my sacredness. I was in constant motion, and not in actual movement in my own growth. I was afraid to admit to myself that I was wandering through my life in a numbed state vs. living and thriving. I thought following the social paths set forth by society, family and peers was what I should do. How wrong I was. How misguided. Because I was living inauthentically and merely mirroring what I saw others were up to, I was not actually living or transforming. It takes you as long as it does to cook and I obviously took longer to cook. I had always been a late bloomer or sorts and even in my own personal growth this mirrored my physical path. Funny to think I spent all that time in the not knowing of myself for so long.”
“The seed of a tree that goes way back and connects all of us to a genetic memory of wholeness that calls to us throughout our lives, especially in times of darkness and struggle. Despite this, we have all, at some point, found ourselves in that place of darkness– a state of imbalance that leaves us wondering how to get back to that place of health, harmony and fulfillment. …In that stats of prolonged imbalance, one may begin to believe that this sense if disorientation, distortion, and darkness is normal. …Because when we get to that state of being we tend to forget what health, wholeness and sacredness is. Without that feeling of wholeness, the thought of one being sacred or having a sacred purpose is not even a consideration.”
“When a person feels SCARED, they no longer feel SACRED.”
Jerry Trello (Author; UNKNOWN )
“The darkness can seem all consuming and a chronic state. Once I left the darkness of my past life, I realized I was a prisoner in a prison of my own creation. Merely living in motion vs. movement. ‘There is a difference between living in motion, and being in movement. Motion is just going around and around, occupying time and space, but staying stuck whether it’s good for us or not. Movement is interconnected growth in your sacred purpose.’ What was so, was that I needed to create a new context for my life to live into and be in action to create the new possibility of living.“
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Oscar Wilde (Irish author and poet; October 16th, 1854 ~ November 30th, 1900)
“The thing about survival though is that it is not true growth. It is just that, survival. And it sets us up as victims in our own wounded stories, telling and living the same tale over and over again, and perpetuating the same cycles.”
“Wounded stories when we are young are so painful and often set into our psyche before or when we are just developing language. When I was very young after my brother was born, I remember being at my maternal grandmother’s home for a family event. Baby pictures were being brought out and shared with relatives. I painfully remember my mom and dad chuckling as they looked at newborn photos of myself and my new baby brother. At this moment, before anyone had said something, I glanced at the photos with the general acknowledgment in my head that…’Yeah that is me and that is Matthew.’ I was not judging in my head…just acknowledging the fact. However, then the conversations amongst the adults began and I heard the following from my parents: ‘Oh he was a perfect Gerber baby and Heather came out with a pointy head, fur all over and looked like a monkey.’ My father even made some monkey sounds to embellish the story. At first, I was shocked. Had I done something wrong? Why was I only learning about this now? Had I been so ugly this whole time? I felt foolish, embarrassed and let down by the two people I trusted the most. Regrettably, in that moment I created a wounded story or context for the rest of my life outside of the last three years to present. I now understood that I was not ideal…I was not beautiful…I was not worthy…I WAS NOT ENOUGH. Once my context was set, I then set about finding evidence to prove my story was true. I even asked an aunt to show me what a Gerber baby looked like so I could compare to myself and know I was not enough. Unfortunately, all children do this and create contexts for their lives based on experiences in which the do not have a full understanding. They just fill in the gaps. I truly believe my parents were not being malicious. Likely, they were embellishing the story to get attention or look good, which is what ordinary humans do socially. Even so, the impact had been made, received and I was attached to this context. If the two most important trusted people in my life would say this, then it must be true. In order to keep their love I believed I needed to be more than anyone else in order to retain their love and attention. This context led to me to strive for perfection since I wasn’t enough as my own self. I never thought I was enough, worthy or beautiful, so I was lucky for anyone to give me attention. I became a elite athlete in order to be enough. I earned a scholarship to college to be enough. I didn’t ask for what I needed as an adolescent or young adult from my parents because I believed I wasn’t enough. I moved out of my parents home at 18 years old so as to not burden them with shame of not being enough. I defaulted into a marriage because I believed I would never be enough for anyone. When my athletic career ended I was in a tail spin as to what I could do to bridge the gap of my lack. So, I became a professional coach so no one would see I wasn’t enough. I won national championships and have records in my collegiate Hall of Fame to hide my lack of being enough. This is when I became disconnected, unrelated and withdrawn from my own life. I had spent decades running after the elusiveness of being enough. Even the assimilation of my culture created internal shame for who I was and thus…AGAIN NOT ENOUGH. It is funny that my whole drive was based on not being enough for everyone else. I didn’t even consider being enough to myself. It pains me to look back at her and realize she was SO WORHTY…SO BEAUTIFUL…SO ENOUGH.”
“Although it may take work anytime we choose to face our sacred darkness, we are brought closer to our sacredness and closer to a connection with the Creator. Simultaneously, these teachings can also allow us to make peace with the baggage and the cycles of fear, pain, shame and disconnectedness that have walked with us in our lives, and transform them into medicine and sacred circle of life teachings.”
“It is these lessons and challenges that come to us through the various stages of life, beginning with childhood, where rooted teachings are planted. As we cross the adolescent bridge, physiological, emotional , mental an spiritual experiences being an entire new series of teachings. Moving to the third phase of life, adulthood, we carry the sacredness or woundedness, and are given the additional responsibility to guide others. If we carry these unhealed wounds into adulthood, the brokenness can be passed onto subsequent generations. Finally the fourth stage of elderhood – it is the phase of sharing unconditional love and the wisdoms of life with the next generation. However, if an elder is wounded, the wounded elder’s teachings can put in motion an inter-generational sharing of disconnectedness and pain that can have a profound effect on all for a long time to come.”
“I know I was a good mom…I mean I was a great mom! However, I do realize I carried my wounded story with me while raising my children. I am sure they have scars from my own fears and pain. I have made peace with myself and if anything was inadvertently passed on to my children I ask for their forgiveness and understanding. One day if they choose to reconnect, I welcome the opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings or assumptions they too made when young children and adolescents. My hope would be that they learn to know me newly as I am now. Because the past doesn’t exist and the future has not happened. Only the present is real and I am choosing to live and be in the present. Recognizing I am the last elder in my indigenous roots lineage, I owe it to my relations to pass on the unconditional love and wisdoms of my own sacredness and my cultural teachings. I welcome the opportunity to help my relations find their own sacredness and indigenous culture connection.”
“You are either drawn by wisdom or pushed by pain. Either way, you will have to move,”
Caroline Myss (American Author; December 2nd, 1952)
“So, if we didn’t receive the essential rooted teachings of childhood and instead experienced the wounded side of life’s lessons, at some point our spirit will search to try to heal. If misguided, we may look to substitute the need for these teachings in people, relationships, and perhaps eventually food, alcohol, substances, work and/or other activities. And when disconnectedness, shame, neediness, or fear of rejection become our motivation for living, we end up in wounded relationships, settling for less than what is truly fulfilling, and/or stuck in a pattern of despair.”
“Our ultimate wish is that the cycles of life’s wounds, sometimes generations old, will be healed; that the pain of the cycles and the energy of negative forces will be lessened so that the next generation will carry less burdens of pain, fear, self-destruction and disconnection, and more sacred teachings of interconnectedness, joy and blessings.”
“My hope is that by facing my own darkness and sharing without flinching I can shed myself of the wounded story that consumed my life. I want the next generation to not be burdened with my made up wounded story…however real it felt to me. This story no longer owns me. This story is not true. This story shall no be passed on. This story is dead to me. I am no longer wounded, broken or not enough. I now live into my freedom, power and my full self-expression. I am validated each moment of my life with the love I have with my forever partner and husband, Neil. His love has healed me. His love has erased my story. His love completes me.”
–Trello, Jerry. “Recovering Your Sacredness: Ancestral Teachings For Today’s Living”. Sueños Publications, L.L.C.. (2018). Pages 6-15.
I challenge each of you to post comments to this blog series so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 