Secret Lives: Gleaning Tips from Our Imaginary Selves
“Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.”
Pearl S. Buck (American Writer and Novelist; June 26th, 1892 ~ March 6th, 1973)
“Each of us leads many lives vicariously and often simultaneously. By acknowledging our secret lives and tapping into the wisdom of our imaginary alter egos, we can glean tips to help us develop our own personal sense of style.”
“Now write down who you’d be if not you. Now write down your secret selves.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 4-3-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
Singer (Heather Houston 4-3-22)
Writer (Heather Houston 4-3-22)
Musician (Heather Houston 4-3-22)
Own a pair of snappy cowboy boots (Heather Houston 4-3-26)
Build a daily medicine bag and learn native medicinal healing (Heather Houston 4-3-26)
Get or have made a cool signature hat (Heather Houston 4-3-26)
Make some moccasins (Heather Houston 4-3-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 105-106 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Repose is a quality too many undervalue. …In the clamor one is irresistibly drawn to the woman who sits gracefully relaxed, who keeps her hands still, talks in a low voice and listens with responsive eyes and smiles. She creates a spell around her, charming to the ear, the eye and the mind.”
Good Housekeeping (November 1947)
“We have all met her, that special woman who draws you into her orb with a radiant smile. Her eyes light up as you tell her how you’ve been. She attracts men, women, children, and animals, for her complete attention is soothing and hypnotic. When you walk away from her you feel as if you have been bathed in a beautiful warm light.”
“You have. It’s called Love, and this ancient beauty secret is available to all of us. When we are genuinely interested in others, a graciousness comes over us that is compelling.
“She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside. She talked as if she were already in the shell. In their very shell.”
Marita Bonner (known as: Marieta Bonner) (American Writer, Essayist, and Playwright; June 16th, 1899 ~ December 6th, 1971)
“Would that each of us were such a woman. Would that each of us could become one. We can. …by taking the time to step outside our own sphere to embrace others, we open ourselves up to the power of Spirit. We are suddenly lit up from inside, and this illumination can transform our looks more effectively than any fancy salon beauty makeover.”
Today, as as if you are a woman with repose of the soul. Greet everyone you meet with a warm smile. …don’t rush your encounters. Speak softly. Listen attentively. Act as if every conversation you have is the most important thing on your mind today. Look…your partner in the eyes when they talk to you. …caress the dog. Lavish love on every living being you meet. See how different you feel at the end of the day.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 3-19-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“I see parts of me in this charismatic space from time to time. I am already very warm and approachable, which lends itself to this space with others. I think I miss it sometimes as I am oblivious. I need to be more intentional about how I engage with others.” (Heather Houston 3-19-22)
“Repose of the soul is what my husband reminds me of everyday. He says I am a sexy hot fun chic and completely irresistible when I don’t hide. I have spent most of my life hiding behind not being lovable or worthy. No longer. UNLEASH THE SNOW LEOPARD!” (Heather Houston 3-19-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 85-86 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“If you want to find the answers to the Big Questions about your soul, you’d best begin with the Little Answers about your body.”
George A. Sheehan (Physician, Senior Athlete and Author; November 5th, 1918 ~ November 1st, 1993)
“Like all of us, you see yourself in the mirror every day. But when was the last time you nodded your head in approval at what you saw? Today, I’d like to ask you to try something radically different: look at yourself lovingly and begin to appreciate what you see.”
“This exercise is more than just skin deep because I want you to take an inventory of what you like about yourself. Most of us are very quick to criticize ourselves. We’re always finding things wrong with the way we look. Today we’re going to discover and give thanks for what pleases us.”
“Tonight, set aside an hour to celebrate how marvelous you really are. …Ask your authentic self to bring to your conscious mind all the special things you should discover tonight. …In your most nurturing voice, tell yourself aloud how wonderful you are. …take a compassionate look at yourself in the mirror. Continue to gaze approvingly into the mirror until you find ten things that you absolutely love about your face and your body…Write all ten down in your gratitude journal. Now think about aspects of your personality that you like. …Write it all down. Do not stop until you have at least ten things about your personality for which to be grateful. Now record them all in your gratitude journal.
“And if you think you can’t find twenty things to love about yourself, go back to the mirror. Do this exercise every day until you can. …Today, be willing to search genuinely for your glorious possibilities and rejoice in your divine authenticity.
“Nature never repeats herself and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton (American Writer and Activist who was a leader of the women’s rights movement in the U.S. during the mid- to late-19th century; November 12th, 1815 ~ October 26th, 1902)
“Before my story began…” (Heather 3-16-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
Ten Things I like About My Body: (Heather Houston 3-16-22)
I love my blue eyes.
I love that I have actual free hanging ear lobes.
I love my hair color when it is dyed black and blue.
I love my hands and fingers.
I love my breasts…Epic!
I love my nipples…Brilliant!
I love my belly button.
I love the ratio of my labia majora to labia minor…Perfection!
I love my ass.
I love my feet.
I love the silky soft soles of my feet…no hard callouses.
Ten Things I like About My Personality:y: (Heather Houston 3-16-22)
I love my sense of humor.
I love that I am kind.
I love that I am generous.
I love that I am thoughtful.
I love that I am integral.
I love that I am intelligent.
I love my appreciation for all music.
I love that I feel fulfillment from being of service to others.
I love that I am loving.
I love that I am logical.
I love that I am warm and approachable to others.
I read the above list and still feel the same about what I love about my physical body and my personality. (Heather Houston 3-16-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 82-83 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“You must have room or a certain hour of the day or do where you do not know what was in the morning paper…a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are, and what you might be…At first you may find nothing’s happening…But if you have a sacred place and use it, take advantage of it, something will happen.”
Joseph John Campbell (American Writer; March 26th, 1904 ~ October 30th, 1987)
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-28-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“The request is to create a sacred space. I use my whole house as a sacred space with heartfelt and gratitude inspired trinkets, babbles and pictures throughout it to remind me wherever I am, that I am thankful and loved.” (Heather Houston 2-28-22)
“After reading ‘Rediscovering Your Sacredness.’ I endeavored to create a sacred space in my home where I could concentrate all of my spiritual energies. I choose the quiet of the morning after cleaning the kitchen from the previous nights cooking to sit in the candlelight of my alter to remind myself of my sacredness and to center myself spiritually before my day unfolds. This quiet early morning solitude fills my soul. Even my dog Kiva looks forward to my intentional breathing and words speaking into the sacredness of all beings. The days I miss this devotional time, I feel the energy of the world beginning to build up within me. Similar to Buddhist teachings, I welcome in the world energy and slough it off daily and return it to the Sacred Whole.”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 61-63 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.”
Patricia Hampl (American Memoirist, Writer, Lecturer, and Educator; March 12th, 1946 ~ )
“We must dig patiently with our pens to excavate our real selves….And fo what are we searching? Shards of our authentic self.”
“As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.”
Joan Baez (American Singer, Songwriter, Musician, and Activist; January 9th, 1941 ~ )
“The more we learn about ourselves and our preferences, the easier it is to make these choices. And creative choice is at the heart of authenticity.”
“Choice confers freedom–the freedom to embrace the new because it speaks to your soul and you are listening. Today be willing to consider the choices you have made in the past as you trace your life. Have they been the right ones for you? Do you make choices with your heart, mind, or gut? Are you comfortable with your style of making choices, or do you wish to try a different approach? Was there something you did not choose in the past that, with hindsight, you now wished you had?”
“Perhaps a long-buried dream still calls to you from a road you chose not to take. If this is true, then stop telling yourself that it’s too late.”
“Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.”
Faith Baldwin (American Author; October 1st, 1893 ~ March 18th, 1978)
“The delay of our dreams does not mean that they have been denied. Perhaps now you have the wisdom to make alterations in your dream so that it can come true. Perhaps now you have the wisdom to choose differently.”
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-21-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“Certainly not all of my choices have been right. But, what is right? I am here now in a life that I am happy, joyful, and living authentically. Maybe all the choices needed to happen to get me here. If so, I would change nothing and do it all over again. I have always made choices using all three: mind, gut, heart. I am very intuitive and rely on this to guide me. I like the style I make choices, but sometimes wish I had even more of a carefree attitude. I think being neglected as a child and put in situations where my basic needs were not being met, led me to look for certainty in my life. I realize certainty is an unreality, but it was the only touchstone I had in my tool kit. I think there are always shoulda…coulda…wouldas for everyone in there past. Sometimes I think the access to a path is not available due to us not being ready yet.” (Heather Houston 2-21-22)
“I definitely make choices based on my heart, mind and gut. As an empath, I can’t avoid what I feel, sense and see. I don’t want my energies to be wound up in lamenting the past as my present is so fulfilling. My path was what is was to get me her and I am so thankful. I am the happiest I have ever been and am living in a loving relationship with my beloved husband and best friend.” (Heather Houston 2-21-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 54-55 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Where there is great love there are always miracles.”
Willa Cather (American Writer; December 12th, 1873 ~April 24th, 1947)
“Once we were going to set the world on fire. Remember? Today we all have our share of ashes, along with the memory of a few bright sparks, to show for our efforts. Ove the years we’ve buried many a precious dream under layers of soot and rubble. Layers of naivete, good intentions, relinquishment, bitter failures, detours, disappointments, rejections, wrong choices, bad timing, bungled efforts, stupid mistakes, unforseen circumstances, whims of fate and missed opportunities. It’s no wonder that we’ll need courage to retrace our steps.”
“…courage is the price that Life extracts for granting peace.”
Amelia MaryEarhart (American Aviation Pioneer and Author; July 24th, 1897 ~ Disappeared July 2nd, 1937 ~ Declared Dead January 5th, 1939)
“A wise woman once advised me not to be a ‘would-be-if-I-could-be or a could-be-if-I-would-be. Just be.’ And while I have learned that dreams need doing as much as they need being, I have learned that the being always come first.”
“Today is a day for being. Be with those you love, be kind to yourself. Be quiet and call forth the dream you buried long ago. The ember is still glowing in your soul. See it in your mind, hold it tenderly in your heart.”
“The dream was always running ahead of one…TO catch up, to live for a moment in union with it, that was the miracle.”
Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (French-Cuban-American Diarist, Essayist, Novelist and Writer of Short Stories and Erotica; February 21st, 1903, 1911 ~ January 14th, 1977)
Relax on Tikehau Island Beach, Tikehau Island, French Polynesia
Wine Taste in Walla Walla
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-14-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“Today felt like my first Valentines Day ever. I actually am spending a Valentines with someone I love and who loves me back…just the way I am. He is my one and only Valentine and I feel like the luckiest woman on earth. I bought him a dozen red roses, our favorite bottle of wine and dinner (pesto linguine and fillets) for us to cook to create a delicious meal. FABULOUS!”💗 (Heather Houston 2-14-22)
“Today I reclaimed Valentines Day for myself. Not interested in the commercial hype. Quite simply I am pampering and lavishing my husband with love. Being with him in a day to celebrate our passion for one another.” ❤️❤️❤️ (Heather Houston 2-14-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 48-49 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
You Have a Unique Point of View: Loving Your Authenticity
“A sobering thought: what if, right at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?”
Jane Wagner (American writer, Director and Producer; February 26th, 1935 ~ )
“One of the most important milestones we’ll hit along the way is the moment when we finally own our unique point of view and realize how priceless it is.”
“I’d gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never my own…Now, dazzled, I discovered that my capacities were real. It was like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.”
Joan Mills (Musical Artist; UNKNOWN)
“Today, or as soon as you can, indulge yourself with one of my favorite perk-ups. Get $25 from the bank in $5 notes and place then in the pockets of all your coats and jackets. Now forget about it. The next time you wear a coat and find $5, laugh and let it remind you that each day that you love, honor, and respect your own unique point of view, you’re a step closer to finding a fortune.”
“Now do one thing more. Start to treat yourself more generously. Begin with $5…Just do something out of the ordinary that you normally wouldn’t do that will lift your spirits.”
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line…You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
Lucille Ball (American Actress, Comedian, and Producer; August 6th, 1911 ~ April 26th, 1989)
“Before my story began…” (Heather Houston 2-13-22)
1972 Me…at my Aunt Carrie’s Baby Shower
“Love myself ‘eh? Well that has been a battle my entire life.”
“My story began at 3-4 years of age at my maternal grandmother’s house. My parents were sitting on the blue couches holding my new baby brother and sharing newborn pictures of my brother and myself while surrounded by my maternal aunts and uncles. Somebody mentioned how cute my brother was and my parents beamed with pride. Someone said out loud, “He is a perfect Gerber Baby.” I knew who the Gerber Baby was from the baby food jars we had on hand. I thought how nice to know my brother is so cute. I was proud to be his big sister.”
“Then it happened…my parents said something like this…”It is amazing how he came out. Heather never looked like this. Frankly, when she was born, I thought she was a monkey. Covered in hair, wrinkled and curled up.” my dad stated. My mom piped in, “She had a pointy head.” I was shocked. My world seemed to melt away from me. What did they mean? I was a monkey…an ugly monkey? Not even human.”
“I immediately started to resent my brother fiercely. How dare he own all the beauty and affection? I was never the same after that day. My story was set…I knew I was ugly and repulsive…not enough. I felt shameful for existing and knew that being me was not enough. So, I knew had to be more then me…different. In my survival mode, I gravitated to perfectionistic behaviors in a way to clamor to be “SEEN”.”
“Alas, I spent most my life here and it led me down a very unhappy life path…sexual harassment, domineering abusive spouse, self-loathing, imposter syndrome on any achievement and low self worth. I fight every day to win the day over my story and find I still fail…even now almost 50-years since that day. My parents were young naive and learning to be parents. None of us as parents were given the parent manual…LOL! All of us as parents made mistakes…even me. I only hope my mistakes don’t plague and paralyze my children as much as my story has. I forgive my parents for their harsh statements as I know I can’t go back in time to change what I heard or wished someone noticed the pain on my face and showed me compassion. Instead, I was left to my own 3-4 year old mind devices, which led to me making meaning of the incident and creating a story. It is what it is.”
“But, I do wonder about that little girl…I wonder what her life might have been like if she loved and believed in herself. What might she had become? What might she be doing today? That is a fantasy and doesn’t exist. Claiming and owning my story by bringing it into the light allows it to be less powerful and affords me power to put it aside as not reality. I forgive myself also, I was just a 3-4 year old trying to make sense of a moment when I had little understanding of the grey parts of conversations and saw it only as black or white…good or bad…ugly or pretty. As such, my story latched onto this and filtered my entire life. I am trying to not live in my rearview mirror and live into the present by finding worth in myself now…newly. Pray for me to find my true love…of myself before I leave this dirtball. Thank you for listening.”
Gerber Baby
Heather Houston-DOB 3-30-68
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 47-48 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Perhaps loving something is the only starting place there is for making your life your own.”
Alice Koller (American Writer and Academic; September 13, 1925 ~ )
“It should be straightforward, this knowing what we love. But it seldom is. After decades of letting other people influence us—…The only opinion that counts from now on is your own.”
“Be open to authentic aspirations.”
“Remember this is the year for asking questions. The most essential one we can ask is: what is it I truly love?”
“Trust that your authentic life will unfold naturally and with grace.”
Sea Turtles off the coast of Cristobal, Galapagos (2026)
“I got my resume done and applied for both positions. I reached out to my connection for a referral/recommendation. I feel accomplished.” (Heather Houston (2-2-26)
“Knowing what you love or what your style is comes with exposure and time. I didn’t grow up on a household with matching furniture, that was for those with privilege. I didn’t have sisters to chat and share my interests with. I have found that practicality wins most of the time. However, I have lately been feeling the urge to expand myself into my self expression with what I wear. I think visiting a clothing store might be in my cards in the next few weeks. I intend to begin assembling a few pieces that speak to who I am and the style I enjoy.” (Heather Houston 2-2-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 36-37 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
“Your diamonds are not in far distant mountains or in yonder seas; they are in your own backyard, if you but dig for them.”
Russell H. Conwell (American Baptist Minister, Orator, Philanthropist, Lawyer, and Writer; February 15th, 1843 ~ December 6th, 1925)
“…within each of us lies a wellspring of abundance and the seeds of opportunity. For each of us there is a deeply personal dream waiting to be discovered and fulfilled. When we cherish our dreams and then invest love, creative energy, perseverance, and passion in ourselves, we will achieve an authentic success.”
“Where is your acre of diamonds? If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”
“My acre of diamonds is time spent with the love of my life. Wherever we are together is my acre of diamonds. What I would love to do is have a beach front diner/bar in a tropical location. We would serve only the tequila, mezcal and scotch we love along with a selection of our favorite meals. We would host live music to dance to on a sand floor. Our private residence would be on the property. I would furnish it simply and modestly to focus my energy on the beauty around. We would have a few bungalows on site to offer lodging to visitors or to host guests. My focus would be on creating memories with my partner. In a perfect world, my children and family would visit and vacation at our resort. We would travel and host workshops while podcasting in interesting locations.” (Heather Houston 1-20-22 & 1-20-26)
“We all have an acre of diamonds waiting to be discovered, cherished, and mined. We all have a place from where to begin. Let your imagination soar, for it is your soul’s blueprint for success.”
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 20-21 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
Pearl S. Buck (known as: Sai Zhenzhu) (American Writer and Novelist; June 26th, 1892 ~ March 6th, 1973)
“…in happy and fulfilled lives domesticity and spirituality are invisibly but inexorably connected—…”
“We might not be able to control what’s happening externally in our lives but we can learn to look to our own inner resources for a sense of comfort that nurtures and sustains.”
“It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes.”
Dorothy Parker (American Poet, Writer, Critic, and Satirist; (August 22nd, 1893 ~ June 7th, 1967)
“No woman can think clearly when constantly surrounded by clutter, chaos, and confusion, no matter who is responsible for it. Begin to think of order not as a strait-jacket of ‘shoulds’ (Make the bed, wash the dishes, take out the garbage) but as a shape—the foundation—for the beautiful new life you are creating.”
“There is a Divine Order—a Sublime Order—inherent in the Universe. We can tap into this powerful source of creative energy when we are willing to gradually cultivate a sense of order as to how we conduct our daily affairs. Invite Divine Order into your life today and a more serene tomorrow will unfold.”
“I have always felt my organizational style is aligned with the Sublime Order of the Universe…instinctual for me.” (Heather Houston 1-16-22)
“I have changed my perspective over the years that the “To Dos” are not work. Instead, they are life and BEing in my life completely means I choose to enjoy all of it!” (Heather Houston 1-16-26)
–Ban Breathnach, Sarah. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy”. Grand Central Publishing. (1976). Kindle Page 16-17 of 501.
I challenge each of you on this blog series to post comments so we all can grow together.
My Distilled Life 